Friday, April 13, 2007

Hawt Pot: Women Touch Them and Why For?

You know that pot is hot… you’ve touched it before and felt the sting of the burn. What makes you think you can reach out now, yet again, and in the same way and get a different result? And, more importantly, do you really want a different result? From that pot?

You see it there… on the stove… steaming. The scent is wafting toward you and making your tummy all jumbly. You know what’s in the pot and that the last time you stood here in the same spot, considering the same hawt pot, you found what’s in it didn’t really live up to your expectations. It had no real substance and whatever it’s made of, you realized that pot has been double-dipped in. Do you really want something that has been double-dipped in? Ewwww.

Some people like to play with fire and steaming-hawt pots. Why would they? They know without a doubt that the last time they sampled that particlar brew it went all funny. Sure, it was tasty, hit the spot… but they found that it had no long term positive affects. Immediate satisfaction achieved, they couldn’t stop there. Why not? Why can’t you just say “well that was a tasty little treat” and “yay, now I know that the hawt pot can scald a finger”? And move on to other kitchen items that might not be so risky? But, nooooo. You continue to tempt the gods of fire, steam, and Salmonella and reach for it again as if unaware you are doing it. Who’re you gonna blame this time?

You want to know… why can’t I get more from this? Surely whatever is in that pot could bring longer-lasting fulfillment and well-being. Is that what you want? Are you sure? Think about it. If you’re willing to admit it to yourself, you know logically that this often sampled and popular fare won’t satisfy you. In reality, this upside-down version of the food pyramid lacks the sustenance you need to feel strong and healthy. Of course it makes you go “mmnmm” for the moment. In the long run, though, you’d do better just watching the pot—for a friend maybe--, stirring it for good measure, and passing the spoon.

That’s right, ladies, put the spoon down and step away from the stove! You have insisted for so long to do things the way you always have. But how’s that working for you? For clarification… the Hawt-Pot will burn. Duh! Just remember that though it may get tasted, tested, and raved about… it can get stale and cheesy and it will continue to give you flaming turds for a week after it’s consumed. Oh and gas. And that’s just soooo unladylike.

It’s an analogy, peeps, think it out!


Wrath Paine said...

mmMmmm pot... Oh, sorry, got distracted.

Say now, this wouldn't be a case of the Pot calling the Kettle Hawt, would it? mmhmmm

Regardless of the fact this article seems intended as a reminder for the ladies, it's still going up on my refigerator door. It would also be a good story to tell around the campfire, as that last paragraph literally scared the bejeezus outta me! :-|

In other words, keep up the good work! :-)

Killian Klein said...

Dear god you make me want to touch the hawt pot

Nex Brannan said...

I think this made me both horny and hungry...

Joonie said...

oh ughh....i keep touching the hawt pot. *ouch...*mmmmm...*ouch...mmmmm