Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Really. That's the best you could do?
So what happened? You guys were busy... burning the midnight oil... usin' a little elbow grease... yada yada. And then what? Pooped out? Did your deadline get moved up? What was it? The Head guy and the Finger guy were doing ok, but what... was the foot guy on break? Phoning it in? "Yea guys just chop that big toe so it looks triangular... dainty, no?"
And it's only with the help of a highly-trained and able army of custom creators that we are able to at least mask this oddity with the help of a skin. Somehow not too comforting to know that on the seventh day when the Big Cheese said "let them have feet", this was the result. I'm wondering what cost-saving idea was proposed by cutting corners (literally!) on our feet. Sure, seems like it wouldn't be a big deal... but how do you tell one of your closest friends that the sight of their slightly-shaved-off, one-dimensional footsies is like nails on a chalkboard to you?
On the other hand, perhaps this was a scheme cooked up by the ever elusive and mysterious Lindens intended to lay the foundation for the prim manipulators of the future... Hmmm.. coincidence? What possible other reason could they have? And you would think that covering up these beauties would solve the problem, right? Yea, not as much as you'd hope... case in point:
Yup. Cankles. Fleshpants. No amount of H2O can relieve this kind of bloating. What *can* you do, you ask. Why, there's only one thing To Do... wear boots. That's right, throw out those stilettos, those cutsie lil heels and dancing shoes. It's really the only answer. Trust me when I tell you I've looked for the cankle slider... with no success. Err, I was helping a friend, that's the only way I know about the cankle issue. Yea that's it. But look! It's not only her. That purple foot was ganked off of a serious fashion blog! Cankles!
Anyhow, in closing, I'd like to ask the Lindens to rethink the whole foot deal. Really it's embarrassing that there are now over 6,800,000 users in SL and this is what they must walk on every day of their slife.
Thank you for your consideration,
Rosie Shark :)
Monday, May 28, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Foul with, characterized by, or having the nature of filth; disgustingly or completely dirty.
Vile; vulgar; obscene: filthy language.
I love to model. Something about being in front of the camera, watching the lighting play off of my avatar as I focus on this or that, really makes me happy. I edit my own photos in photoshop and it allows me to be creative in ways I can't do in RL ( I can't draw for the life of me -_- ). I get to model a lot for my tattoo parlor – I'm always there when I need someone to wear the newest ink. That's business, though, and it can wear a bit thin. For fun I love to model for Filth Magazine.
I'm no Barbie, by any standards. I love to get dirty, grab my guns, strap on my shit-kicking boots and just let loose. Most places or magazines want you to look like a haute couture goddess or stripper of the month. Filth, however, wants us dirty girls; tattoos, guns, boots and all.
MG has a very diverse readership and I know some of you girls love to model, just like I do. Filth Magazine is looking for Filthy Chicks to grace it's glossy pages. They're not looking for Barbies, mind you, or nasty slider-impaired strippers... They want intelligent, talented, unique avatars with a firm sense of personal style – not mainstream style.
So think you're a Filthy Chick?
Fill out the following questions and slide a sexy snap into a notecard and name it (Your name)...Is a Filthy Chick and send it to Kitty Lalonde, Tiernan Serpentine or drop it in the Filth Offices mailbox.
Five things you love?
Five things you hate?
What three items would you take to a desert island?
What is the most deviant sex toy you own in SL?
If you could get away with it, what would you do in PG land?
Monday, May 21, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Hi my name is Orchid and I am an addict.Well, at least I feel that's what I should be saying. I'm not really an addict, except that whole dependancy upon caffeine in the form of pop. Some may also argue that I'm addicted to blogs (both readind and writing in).
After months of struggling to keep my head above the virtual post water as far as fashion blogs go, I had made my own personal blog for both my SL friends and RL friends/family to read in order to keep up with my usually hectic daily life. Fortunately JellyBean saw me floundering around with no arm floaties and rescued me from the world of fashion blogging. She invited me here where my opinions and blunt honesty wouldn't be censored in favor of kissing virutal hiney.
What's in it for us?I know how frustrating and just plain scary it can be to have found a new favorite blog to read just to have a new person start writing in it. Sometimes the new person is completely off track from what you're used to, and sometimes that's okay. At times the FNG (Fuckin' New Guy) is just a pain in your ass and you want everyone to know it! Regardless of circumstances I will attempt to make this merger as painless as possible. If it hurts I'll slow down. I'll still respect you in the morning, bebeh.
We Can't Do This with a Stranger!Yeah I totally understand. I don't like reading stuff strangers say either - and usually I don't give a rip about their opinions either so I will just give a little bit of information about myself so you won't feel so dirty.
- I don't have a seperate SL
- Immature, opinionated, and easily amused have all been used to discribe me
- Machinima is my 'thing'
- I like purple. A lot.
- My sarcasm loses its charm in text sometimes
- Married IRL to my SL partner
- Met my RL husband in SL
- Always too fat to be at the top of the pyramid
- Never too tired to talk shit
I've been in Second Life for almost three years now. I've been doing the machinima thing just as long, and have been a smart ass my entire life. I've never been a SL Barbie - so all these things combined not ONLY nearly make me Captain Planet .. but also make me a nice peg to fit in with the MGG2SL group just fine. Well everyone except Jelly. She gets jealous of my short temper.
No PromisesI can't promise anyone that I can stick to any certain topics to blog about ... but I can tell you that it will at least be thought provokin .. even if your only thought it stabbing me in the face with a broken broom handle. Oh and good luck with that .. I'm pretty tough *flex*
Friday, May 18, 2007
Spoon Carriers as told by JellyBean Madison...
A Spoon Carrier is a person who has been properly trained in the fine art of Drama Cooking/Stirring. Mostly, the spoons are the pride of the carrier and handled with care, often polished, and shined. They carry their spoon(s) around on their person at all times, as one may not know when or how often stirring opportunities may arise. They can smell a pot of drama on the stove miles away, will swoop in, most times unnoticed to turn up the heat, give it a stir, stand back & watch it start to boil over. Keeping drama away from their own kitchen as well as sneaking in to stir the pots of other's simmering drama is not an easy task. This is purely for their entertainment purposes only, well mayhapsibly their friends also. Who doesn't love a good old fashioned bitch fest? :D Beginners should start out with a spork (It's like a big "student driver" sign).
Tools of the Skill:
The most common spoon carried is the "Big Drama" spoon. Though it's name makes it sound like it is only used in fantastic situations, it is just as easily used in less than big situations. In fact, this is the most practical spoon of the four. It's heavy duty, wider at the mouth, can handle about any size drama there is, can be used for scooping up massive quantities in single scoop and perfect for when you're on the go and gotta spoon it out fast.
The sister spoon to the "Big Drama" is the "Love Drama" spoon. Not just confined to lovers, but used with love to stir up a current drama that a friend is having... notice bottom of heart shaped tip... symbolizes the love and concern they show by mixing things up.
The "Square Drama" spoon is used for anything in between "Big & Love Drama". Nerd drama, prim drama, fashion drama, land drama and most definitely TRINGO drama... all of that fits into the square category.
Last but not least, this is me showing off & using my very own "Neko Drama" spoon. Neko drama is not limited to actual "nekos" but can also mean "catty" in general, which as you know most bitches are. :) So in this case scenario I am using it the "neko" way to say it gets used for when all hell breaks loose because someone doesn't like the neko revolution (reference) which we heard about AFTER that post & trust me, we laughed til we pissed ourselves.
The reason why I put this post together was because I have been asked what a spoon carrier meant or was. I have no problem educating ya'll on our short hand lingo. :) Next I'll tell ya the truth about "limelighters".
Til next time, wear oven mitts and remmy the pots are hawt!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
We've all seen it – the random couple pixel-type-humping in public places. Usually these are sims designed specifically for this type of behavior: Gor, Fetishist, or flophouses for the RL sexually deprived. But what are the 'rules' for regular ol' sims?
Picture this: You teleport into Last Call, a place full of classy and top-quality clothing/accessories. (No, I am not being paid to endorse them, it's just the truth.) You walk nonchalantly over and check out the ten million new releases. In your peripheral there is a couple, one changing into her newly bought outfits and the other watching. Just like any other couple (who doesn't know how to head home first or find a dressing room), right? You see her hands raise and extend, her fingers press and release and from the keyboard of this well dressed woman, these words:
“I want you to take me home, rip these clothes off and fuck me like you've never fucked me before!”
Not the simple 'does this make my ass look fat' you were expecting. Suddenly you feel like you're intruding – you've somehow been teleported to this couple's bedroom-conversation. Your pixel cheeks turn red, you cam away. This shiny well-built store is transformed into a dirtier version of “Pretty Woman” because someone decided to bring his whore out into pub
When this happens in real life I consider it a 'temporary loss of interior monologue' (to quote Robin Williams)because surely she didn't mean for everyone to hear it. So what - did she hop,skip, trip and miss her IM box? Possibly – but more likely is she just doesn't care.
Yes, we're all adults here, this isn't the teen grid. It was a mature sim but, regardless, have some class! We all have those times where we want to let down our prim tresses, kick off our stripper heels and get wild. Hell, I love talking like a gutter-tramp too... But you won't catch me doing it in general chat in a store that doesn't sell prim cock rings or Betty-Wetty Bondage Dolls. (Not that I frequent those kinds of places. >.>)
Now my trip is ruined and I am stuck with this mental image of you and your pay-per-half hour boyfriend teleporting home, attaching prim genitals, and 'take off'ing like mad fiends. Not only is my trip ruined, oh no, but now I can never wear that outfit without getting that same mental picture. Thanks, cunt.
To curb this behavior I have compiled a simple list of things you should think about while in public sims.
DON'T be a slut in general chat unless it's a sex sim.
Oh, and, for god's sake don't change into the outfit you JUST bought while still in the store. It's trashy. Would you cram your ass into a bathroom at Walmart, change, and then walk out in clothes straight off the rack? ....Ew, you're so redneck.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Ever wonder what exactly she was doing while you spun all the magic you could into typing out that erotic novel to her? Of course you would think that she is as spellbound with your creamworthy wordations as you are with your ability to correctly spell “penetrate”, but in reality she may just have other pressing matters to attend to. Of course it’s important to her that you reach the end you’re aiming for, she’s just able to juggle many things at once… she’s a woman afterall. Some names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
Rosie Shark: so tell me about yourself
Ivanna Humpalot: Just one second phone
Ivanna Humpalot: Okay back, sorry to keep you waiting
Rosie Shark: no problem...
Rosie Shark: busy girl?
Ivanna Humpalot: Very much so, if I don't stay busy I get bored
Ivanna Humpalot: I've always been a multitasker, it's like breathing to me
Rosie Shark: so does multitasking extend to all areas of your life?
*****waits for a response*****
Rosie Shark: is this a bad time for you? Distracted?
Ivanna Humpalot: lmao sorry
Ivanna Humpalot: I multitask everything
Rosie Shark: and everyone?
Ivanna Humpalot: from housework, to SL, and people
Rosie Shark: lol
Ivanna Humpalot: Most people know this & accept it.
Rosie Shark: "most"?
Ivanna Humpalot: Well it's not something I say right off the bat like "Hi I'm a multitasker" like someone would say, "Hi I'm gay"
Rosie Shark: don't you think something of this magnitude should be fully disclosed to those around you?
Ivanna Humpalot: Not really, I am so good at it after doing it for so long, most people can't even tell
Rosie Shark: which is the reason for this interview
Ivanna Humpalot: I hate to brag but one time I put my multitasking skills to the test...
Ivanna Humpalot: I was on an alt and on my main av while managing to cyber with two different men, in two different sims
Ivanna Humpalot: No one was the wiser
Rosie Shark: hmmm you *are* good
Ivanna Humpalot: and I would say that was my greatest multitasking moment of all time
Rosie Shark: so then you were proud?
Ivanna Humpalot: Very proud
Ivanna Humpalot: I deserved an Emmy
Ivanna Humpalot: In fact, at the same time I was IM’ing my best friend telling her of my master skills
Rosie Shark: wow
Rosie Shark: did either of these guys ever find out?
Ivanna Humpalot: Yes
Ivanna Humpalot: and I was so busted & dumped
Rosie Shark: in looking back on that experience
Rosie Shark: would you say that your "performance" was not compromised
Ivanna Humpalot: It probably was to some degree, but neither complained
Ivanna Humpalot: so I suppose even average was enough for them to get their rocks off
Rosie Shark: was that the only time you multi-tasked in this manner?
Ivanna Humpalot: Yes
Ivanna Humpalot: I should use my powers for good not evil
Rosie Shark: well yes you should rofl
Rosie Shark: was this texting to both?
Ivanna Humpalot: yes
Rosie Shark: don't have to worry about typing the wrong thing in the wrong box with that then
Ivanna Humpalot: no you keep it basic... "baby" works very well
Rosie Shark: ok other than doing two guys at once...
Ivanna Humpalot: There was one time that I played with my friend for months with an alt
Rosie Shark: just you on an alt or were you coming at your friend from both characters?
Ivanna Humpalot: On both characters, so they wouldn't suspect the alt was me
Rosie Shark: and what did you do to your friend?
Ivanna Humpalot: I played the bitchy newbie that was a man-hater
Rosie Shark: just to push your friend's buttons?
Ivanna Humpalot: exactly, because he couldn't figure it out.
Rosie Shark: have you ever cybered while doing other things?
Ivanna Humpalot: Oh sometimes I surf the web if it's boring, paint my toenails, sometimes load the dishwasher or make a light snack
Rosie Shark: so then with so much going on...
Ivanna Humpalot: It's just a normal day for me
Rosie Shark: in these multi-cyber situations, are you totally in the moment or do you find the need to fake it?
Ivanna Humpalot: Completely faked it
Ivanna Humpalot: I cannot see how people can text type cyber & actually masterbate
Rosie Shark: So then you aren’t totally into it… why do it then?
Ivanna Humpalot: it's like a contest
Ivanna Humpalot: to see who can write the most erotically
Rosie Shark: kinda challenging?
Ivanna Humpalot: exactly
Rosie Shark: so what was it that motivated you to *do* these two at once?
Ivanna Humpalot: exactly as you said
Ivanna Humpalot: challenge
Rosie Shark: personal growth?
Ivanna Humpalot: I am always looking for new ways to push the limits of my skills
So there you have it! Could just be you are not the only thing on her mind… even at the times you most think you should be! Next time, keep her on her feet… say something sexy like “say my name, bitch” see if that gets the appropriate response :P
Monday, May 14, 2007
I so tire of repeating myself but some people just don't get it. So here's me once again jumping on my mother freaking soap box.
Dearest Designers of Stuff,
Is it so difficult to have a "New Shit" wall? I'm a mad shopper & when I see something on blogs or forums I want, I want it now!!! Now! Now! Not two hours after I have arrived at your store. Almost nothing irks me more than arriving at a store looking for one or two specific items & having to get lag raped trying to find it. Please do not mix old with new, cause *we* as the consumers, don't like it.
Alot of designers are now getting their own sims... Congrats! I do not want to spend an hour stuck in your build because I cannot find what I want. *tear* It's frustrating & makes me pissy. My suggestion is throw up a wall at your main entrance, it doesn't even have to be pretty, just slap that new garb up there so I can be on my way. Chances are if I haven't found what I want in the first, oh 3 minutes of rezzing, I don't want it that badly anyways and I'll leave.
I'm positive that I am not the only person that feels this way. So please throw your consumers a freaking bone & let us conveniently buy your shit. To those designers that are doing this & have done this for awhile, we thank you & gladly throw our Lindens your way. You make our slives a better place. For all you others that haven't, please consider it. Thank you
*takes leave of the soap box*
Monday, May 7, 2007
Friday, May 4, 2007
I'm sorry.. wait no I'm not.. this is not a place where I have to apologize for how I think.. To me that's just FuCkEd UP! Honestly.. who wants to deal with that shit? Granted,a relationship in SL or RL and yes there is always the potential of getting hurt because of one reason or another the relationship doesn't work out. Yes, this is classified as a Game.. or better known as an MMORPG (for those of you still new to this Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game). BUT at the same time *and yes I put a but after a period so what? Eat me if you care that much about my grammar* there are RL people with RL emotions on the other side of those hawt pixels your looking at.
Something Jelly showed me really interested me, it was a post on Taunt by Twiddler Thereian called "Is An Online Affair, An Affair?" Granted it's not just about sl and yes we are trying to keep this blog thingy all about sl, but come on it's a really good article!!! LOL Anyway, it got me thinking about how people see SL and all it's ways around.. I really think the way he looks at things in this article is well.. right on target. Of course, there is one thing I do not agree with, but I can see his point so not even saying what it is.. BUT I love it, the article, his views, everything!
Anyway I digress, STOP thinking about SL as just another game.. It's not just another game people.. TSO *The Sims Online* is just another game, WOW *World Of Warcraft* is just another game, hell for us old geezers UO *Ultima Online* is just another game. SL is what you make it and I hope that everyone makes it the best they can! SL Is more like RL then most people would like to admit.. Live, Love, and be happy! Enjoy every day and live to it's fullest!
Just some food for thought.
JellyBean: Haha! This is an ass that can take down the grid. I'm sorry Rosie, I take back everything I have said about your big butt. Please people do you know nothing about slider overdose? Time for Kayne's Slider Work Out Plan. When we received this pic the first thing I thought was "what is the point of even putting any pants on?" Lala may disagree with me but shredded jeans such as this were so two months ago. Exactly what is the belt for? To keep the jeans strapped up? Seems counter productive to me as she doesn't really have much left to her jeans to need a belt. I'm sorry but it's just crazy stupid to continue when clearly this pic doesn't say a thousand words, it's screams them.
Laylah: These jeans would look hawt on me - For real. The chick wearing them, however, just looks like her giant ass got into a losing battle with a sandpaper wielding dry-humper all hyped up on caffeine and retard-strong. Then again, I look hawt in anything as I've been blessed with good sliders! I'm wondering how she stands upright, what with the waifness of her waist. Someone give this poor panhandler a cheeseburger. Hourglass is a beautiful shape .. when it's done right.
Laylah: The corset top completely ruins any ideas this outfit may have had about being hardcore. Hello, I can see your nipples. I wonder if this is intentional or if she just didn't look at what she put on. At least her tit sliders didn't catch whatever disease her ass slider has. The Mean Girls would like to remind you that being proportionate, even in SL, is important... Otherwise you end up like this girl; with an ass that insists on eating your jeans pixel by pixel.
JellyBean: This poor girl has an SL rez date of January. Okay for those of you who can't count, that means she's been in game for approximately 4 months. She cannot be considered a nooblet anymore, honestly. I would have to say she knows how to cam around to the front of herself to know that something ain't workin here. It could be her skin (I'm guessing it's Naughty skin) or mayhapsibly the top. Either way, she shouldn't have bothered getting dressed today, the pants alone said that way before the top ever did. Yes, this is the upper half to that enormous ass above.
An MG Blawg Post Series with Laylah & JellyBean. Two views on fashion, faces, and unfortunates combined into one general consensus.
If you see something you'd like us to Oh Snap! Please send the pic(s) full perms to JellyBean Madison in world.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
A wha wha what!?!
Funny how the word "mantourage" has taken it's place in casual conversation. "Hey wanna join me at Club So-n-So, you can bring your mantourage."
If a girl has a lot of male friends, well this must be her mantourage. Simply defined by a "male-following". In the past such girls were considered sluts, or politically corrected - vaginal engineers. No longer true in the case of today's mantourage. The truth is the biggest difference between a slut & the mantourage is that sluts put out. A girl with a mantourage knows how to keep the guys interested without ever losing an article of clothing or wrapping her mouth around Mr. Winky.
Building your mantourage isn't as hard as you think. Just be sincere, and a little less self-centered. It's okay, I know it's kinda tough, we're bitches. Be nice, flirty, say cutesy things like "oh gosh, jinkies, giggles" a lot, listen to them talk (yes, even about sports), laugh at their jokes and try to be generally interested in the same things that interest him/them. You never know, you could learn something new & actually find out that there is more to slife than shopping. Be open & honest... this is very important. Never make them think you want more than you really do. To have a nicely structured mantourage you must be comfortable enough to say that there are others, he is not a one man mantourage. It doesn't work that way. That's called "dating". Which is completely different than a mantourage. Also these males have to be comfy too... and not have hostile bitches looking to plant land mines on your parcel. Part of the mantourage IS sharing with other like stable individuals. Be yourself, and you will be adored.
Keep them Happy:
Be selective on who you consider as part of your mantourage. In order to keep anyone happy, you need to be happy yourself. You don't need to invite drama, bi-polar polar bears, jealousy, drooly horndogs with walking hard-ons (oh that made me quiver) or crazy stalkers into your selected mantourage. The selection should be truly who you consider friends, good ones. In fact, it's probably best to only have a public mantourage while you are sitting pretty as a single status'd av.
Chances are you already have a mantourage or you are a guy that is part of one and you just didn't know it had a name. In any case... this has been yet another public service announcement and DIY from JellyBean Madison, fighting the good fight for a less ignorant SL.
Coming soon: Secrets to a Mantourage - A Guy's Perspective