The SL to RL Dilemma.

It's easy, in this game that is not really a game, to get caught up in the whirlwind of emotion that comes along with getting to know someone. SL allows us to reach out and touch people we would not have met before. Now your search for love can span the entire globe.

Practically every taboo fetish has a group you can join to find people of the same mindset. Your every desire can be sought out, ordered up like some dial-a-date personal mate builder. All you have to do is find the right place for what you're looking for and then sleep your way through the various and sundry applicants.

You may just find “The One.” People make up and break up by the thousands every day in SL and it's been said that a relationship's longevity in SL is at least half compared to a RL relationship. My SL husband and I have been together, technically, since October of 06. We did not marry in game till much later and had been seeing each other many months before the engagement.

We took our relationship as far RL as we could relatively quickly. We talked on the phone for days at a time, saw each other on web cam quite often... It all happened so fast that I don't even know how one thing led to another. I met him and suddenly we clicked and I knew this was going to be “it” for me.

We met for the first time in RL in 06, before we were married in SL. I was so nervous. I knew him, heart and soul, before we planned this but there is definitely a different dynamic face to face. I spotted him as I was coming down the stairs... It was like a scene from any sappy romance movie. I ran to him! As I threw my arms around him.. I tripped over my own feet. He caught me and I pressed my lips to his in our very first kiss.

To this day I am still falling for him.

I know, I know, this doesn't sound like a Mean Girl's article! I assure you that I have not been body-snatched by some sappy sloot. Relationships are a huge part of SL. Finding, keeping, leaving, hiding, day in and day out on a much grander scale than you could have in RL.

The Mean Girls strive to be honest about things in SL. If your ass is fat, we tell you. Your Bling too Blingin? Expect to be made fun of (It's for your own good!). I've been thinking about SL to RL relationships a great deal lately and I know some of you have been there, done that, and not had it go to well. Some have had the same experience that I did.

Share your stories, Readers! Spurned by an ex-lover? Call him out! Sleeping with a partnered man? Please, do tell. Met the man of your dreams in RL and been completely disappointed or completely head-over-heels? This MG wants to know what goes on behind your closed doors.

Oh Snap! Out & About on the Grid (Take Deux)

JellyBean: Oh gosh! The response to Oh Snap! Has been insane. People I don't know have been dropping pics on us inworld & I have to say I loveeeeee it! Because we have so many pics & are practically Oh Snap! backlogged, I've asked the other MGs to jump on the series.

Twiggy
JellyBean: Yup that's me in the background. When I saw her I thought "HOLY SHIT! Calista Flockhart hits SL and anorexia will be the new trend." Do you think she had to seriously mod her prim skirt? Her over thinness wouldn't have been so prominent had her tats not reminded me of veins against fragile bone & her AO making her look extremely twiggy! Quick someone get her a cheeseburger, large fries & extra large milkshake!

Laylah: I'm so confused - is that a human or a tree? Maybe a dryad - in which case, perhaps we should plant it. The tattoo even looks like bark! Someone give this girl a cheeseburger, STAT! I hope the emaciated crack-whore look doesn't become en-vogue because it's completely disgusting and totally at-odds with my banana split lovin ass. I'm going to go ahead and invoke Rule 34 on this - Hippies, start fappin.

Orchid: what's running down her leg? chawklit rain? ROFLLL I'm trying to decide what look she's trying to pull off. I think I'll call it the "Billy Ray meets Crocodile Hunter on the set of Pimps Up Hoes Down" cuz wtf is with the hooker boots? She almost looks like one of the Olsen twins .. when they were 8. Seriously though you could feed her the fries, shake and burger ... but it still won't help the fact that her arms are penetrating her breasts. If she's THAT thin and the pose is bunk ... that's just a BAD pose. Do people not sit on a pose stand to demo this stuff?

Small French Penor
JellyBean: Thank the Lindens for farking walls! Two words: PENIS PUMP!

Laylah: *In a horrible, affected french accent* "Uhh huh huh huh, Monsieur, I see your Oui Oui!" Maybe I am just accustomed to giant willies in SL (See Biggun's Flesh Rocket!!) but even for a '16 year old French boy' this seems .. small. Perhaps it's a French thing. Someone get out the siren, this is grade a child porn... Except it's not really a child. This is poor Jelly's neighbor. Someone turn this guy in - disgusting pervert. I see his balls .. erm, poseballs and I'm pretty sure they don't make him clean his room. Start the witch hunt here, guys. *hork*

Orchid: Once again - a noob who doesn't thave the money for a skin but has had enough foreski ... foresight to purchase a penis. Now THAT is priority! He needs to hit a butterfly machine ... got a little man boob goin on, and even though I love a good preforming drag queen as much as the next easily amused person .. those gloves gotta go. Looks like he got a bit too worked up .. either that or his choker is too tight. Or is he embarrassed? What's that red shit on his face?! I think its proportionate .. but its just ugly. At least his nuts don't look like a brain though! You seen those? The prim 'nads that look like they came right out of a Jhonen Vasquez drawing?

Holy Hulk Hogan
JellyBean: I so wish I coulda been there to witness this in person. Neck up she's as lovely as a flower, neck down I fear for my slife. What the fuck are they putting in the water at SLeek?

Laylah: Oh yeah, Hulkamania! Off subject, wanna know something sad? My rl mom thinks the Hulk is sexy. LOL Anyway - Wow. This girl must work out a lot. And they call making tiny prims 'prim torture' - I wonder what those poor prims did to deserve this. Even steroid lady can not resist the lure of the bling! How do you even wear clothes over this? I see she's not wearing any panties - I shudder to think of where they've gone. I wonder if this girl knows what kind of hairy-palmed crowd she's kink-catering too? You know, I think I am a little jealous. I needs me a set of these giant muscles to pimp out. MG's - Beefed up! Hilarious! Seriously - where do you buy these? LOL

Orchid: Okay ... so I have to figure out if this is a woman or a mullet wearing man? God all those prims! Though its a work of art and I can totally appreciate the craftsmanship of it - Ew. And she isn't even wearing any bottoms! But I can't tell if there's a tuck ... or if its a cooter. But no matter what .. they have their bling and apparently that's all that matters. "I might be ugly as fuck and be accused of being a man .. and I might not be able to fit through a doorway - but god damn it my toes bling!"Toe bling! ftw

JoyStick Hair
Laylah: Joystick Hair: Wow, you know I'm the kind of girl who says "Let go of my hair I know what I'm doing" but this girl's hair just screams "Grab on and twist this bitch like you're at game point on pong!" Seriously, I guess that might be comforting though. Mmm, Atari - You never forget your first! Geeks around the grid will be looking for the quarter slot on this bitch. And I don't even want to know what is on her thigh but I think her coolant is leaking.

Orchid: See that hair only works on like ... someone who's RPing some kind of midevial type character or a shao-lin monk LOL! OMFG she has that shiny layer thing on .. that's another rant that's on my back burner. So she has on this taxi cab yellow 'kini .... but ugly ass black Budweiser socks? That's horrible product placement! and what's running down her thigh? that a bruise from the stripper pole?

Oh, Snap!
An MG Blawg Post Series. Views on fashion, faces, and unfortunates combined into one general consensus.
If you see something you'd like us to Oh Snap! Please send the pic(s) full perms to JellyBean Madison in world.

Fashionably Goth.

Contrary to popular belief, you can be fashionably goth in SL. You don't have to be covered in latex, in cunt-high boots, and so white your skin has no character. A few well chosen outfits can convey your disappointment with life in general and your parents in particular.


NYMPHETAMINE Boutique's Pandora's Penchant hat, paired with the "Dark Victorian Nights" outfit, Mentonka lace up leather clogs, and Canimal's socks work really nicely with the one skin I deigned to purchase for this article.

The "Whispers of Night" skins by Zoe Llewelyn are the best I have seen. She's made them pale as you'd like but still with lots of character.

This gothly beauty clearly says, "Since Mommy and Daddy didn't hug me enough... I am running off to be the ringleader of a circus!"

In all honesty, I adore this outfit. It's dark without being completely black and lifeless, as most goth things I have seen. The texturing is beautiful and it's got a fun flavor not usually seen in goth costumes.



Another great place to buy things is Barerose, but be careful - you must look closely at what you are buying! There are a great many gems in their stock but there are also quite a few very trashy pieces. (But hey, if you're into that...)

Even the fashionista's are fawning over this ruffled Lolita-esque shirt. Again, I am loving the fun and flavor of these pieces. Ruffled neck, shoulders, hem, and wrists?! Yes, please! I adore the detailing on this piece, and the fact that it's white. I think white is highly underplayed in the Goth scene. Yes, I know, you are dark and spooky and your costumery must match the 'colour of your SOUL.' etc. But white can work very well, with the right skin tones. You look deathly, it washes you out even more... Why, you're a regular Lenore !

I paired this, again, with the leather clogs, simply because they were on hand. I also slid on the cheating pants from Shai. I am obsessed with pinstripes and I liked that I could add in something not considered goth and still get a very goth look. Plus, I love being in men's pants. (Don't hate)

With a few simple accessories and a small substitute or two, it is possible to turn just about any look "Goth."




"Ah, broken is the golden bowl! the spirit flown forever!
Let the bell toll!- a saintly soul floats on the Stygian river;
And, Guy de Vere, hast thou no tear?- weep now or nevermore!
See! on yon drear and rigid bier low lies thy love, Lenore!
Come! let the burial rite be read- the funeral song be sung!-
An anthem for the queenliest dead that ever died so young-
A dirge for her the doubly dead in that she died so young."


One last outfit that I fell in love with was from NYMPHETAMINE Boutique as well. It's the Hello Dolly dress and OMG, so fun to wear! The details on this dress are stunning. Every bow and every lace panel so well laid that I found it hard to take this off... and I'm not even goth! Nearly every part of this dress is flexi. It moves around you in that way your favorite Easter dress did when you were little and hopped up on a sugar buzz, twirling 'round and 'round in the backyard because you liked the way the dress 'swooshed' around your thighs.

It's not easy to do goth fashionably in SL. It takes alot of grid hopping, alot of patience, and a good eye but it CAN be done. Take your time, think it out, and for the love of god SMILE sometime - have fun... It's not all that bad, your parents could have given you a thin, blonde, busty sister.

Oh Snap! Out & About on the Grid

JellyBean: Yah, shup! We know it's been awhile since we've done an Oh Snap! It's Laylah's fault. The bitch that she is pretends to always be busy when we really know she's whoring herself out. You may have to click to enlarge the images, don't hurt yourself.
Laylah: Lies - all lies! I'm a married woman now. I spend my time baking cookies in only an apron and stilettos. It's a hard knock life.

The Bunneh
Laylah: Oh god, the bunny. Ok, I know.. I did tell you to be something besides a cat.. and I did mention bunnies. It's nice to see you listen but lets not take it to extremes. You might as well go full furry. The truth is - I hate bunnies. I do. I will speed up if I see one in the road...but I tell people not to be fucking cats so I can't really sneeze at bunnies. I mean - she looks so stupid. Why, god why, would you cover you hands and feet in those things when there are so many wonderful shoes out there.. and the hands just creep me out.

JellyBean: She's one strong bunneh to hold wee men on one shoulder. I'm not sure but she leaves me confused. Furry or not furry? Help me out here - throw the bean a bone. Oi! Speaking of bonin', would being with her be considered bestiality? *shakes head* I am confused by what I do not understand.

The Stretch
Laylah: The plastic man tote reminds me of Stretch Armstrong. Remember him? Weird... or maybe Gumby. I wonder if this guy can glide like Gumby does. How cool would that be? ... Big, bald and scary as all get-out. At least he's not cookie-cutter like everyone else. Even toothpick legs loves the bling. it's a disease, I swear.

JellyBean: I bet he's a great contortionist. I'm not sure I could honestly get past the bling & small head to find out. However I seriously wanna ask for a piggy back ride just so I can touch the clouds.

Mr. Winky
Laylah: Mr. WINKY! Not too bad looking.. except for the third leg. What's they they say "the barn door's open?" Looks like the horse got out. And again - men not lining up their hair. I mean it's a click and a drag, it's not that hard. No one has to guess what he's doing when he should be fixing his hair.

JellyBean: Now we don't know for sure, but he could have it caught in his zipper. :o The only thing is, he doesn't appear to be in pain, so I'm going to guess he could be into that sort of thing. New meaning to "freeballin". In any case, you don't have to woo his socks off to see what his package looks like... BA BAM! It's just there.

Emo Vamp
Laylah: "I Vant To Suck Your Blood!" Her giant gray boobs scare me - and that's saying something coming from "Bewbs" Mistral. That's one hooker I would be scared to pick up - you could lose more than your wallet and get the ABCs of STDs to boot. It's obvious to me that she is a hooker - look at those boots! I find that people in SL go way super far with the Goth thing. I was goth in high school, thank goodness I grew out of it. Even then I had -some- style. I think we're going to have to do a post on Goth done fashionably well. Yes, yes .. Your life is a dark pit of darkness. We get it - you're so goth you wear velvet tampons, sure. Might as well wash your hair, put on some Dashboard Confessional and cut yourself (so you can feel) because Goth is SO out and Emo is the new Goth.

JellyBean: Everything Laylah said. Lmao!

Oh, Snap!
An MG Blawg Post Series with Laylah & JellyBean. Two views on fashion, faces, and unfortunates combined into one general consensus.

If you see something you'd like us to Oh Snap! Please send the pic(s) full perms to JellyBean Madison in world.

All your mothers are whores!

Vote for me on this week's poll!

Laylah Mistral for President!

Oh Snap! "Barbie takes a roll in the dirt: Filthy done wrong"

Laylah: Ripped jeans are the new black - everyone wants to be 'Filthy" these days. As filthy chicks (wuwu!) Jelleh and I can tell you, this is so NOT the way to do it. I can not stress this enough - People, stop..and take the time to LOOK at your AV. Just because the clothes look good on the model in the picture do not mean they will fit your body type.

JellyBean: Haha! This is an ass that can take down the grid. I'm sorry Rosie, I take back everything I have said about your big butt. Please people do you know nothing about slider overdose? Time for Kayne's Slider Work Out Plan. When we received this pic the first thing I thought was "what is the point of even putting any pants on?" Lala may disagree with me but shredded jeans such as this were so two months ago. Exactly what is the belt for? To keep the jeans strapped up? Seems counter productive to me as she doesn't really have much left to her jeans to need a belt. I'm sorry but it's just crazy stupid to continue when clearly this pic doesn't say a thousand words, it's screams them.

Laylah: These jeans would look hawt on me - For real. The chick wearing them, however, just looks like her giant ass got into a losing battle with a sandpaper wielding dry-humper all hyped up on caffeine and retard-strong. Then again, I look hawt in anything as I've been blessed with good sliders! I'm wondering how she stands upright, what with the waifness of her waist. Someone give this poor panhandler a cheeseburger. Hourglass is a beautiful shape .. when it's done right.

Laylah: The corset top completely ruins any ideas this outfit may have had about being hardcore. Hello, I can see your nipples. I wonder if this is intentional or if she just didn't look at what she put on. At least her tit sliders didn't catch whatever disease her ass slider has. The Mean Girls would like to remind you that being proportionate, even in SL, is important... Otherwise you end up like this girl; with an ass that insists on eating your jeans pixel by pixel.

JellyBean: This poor girl has an SL rez date of January. Okay for those of you who can't count, that means she's been in game for approximately 4 months. She cannot be considered a nooblet anymore, honestly. I would have to say she knows how to cam around to the front of herself to know that something ain't workin here. It could be her skin (I'm guessing it's Naughty skin) or mayhapsibly the top. Either way, she shouldn't have bothered getting dressed today, the pants alone said that way before the top ever did. Yes, this is the upper half to that enormous ass above.

Oh, Snap!
An MG Blawg Post Series with Laylah & JellyBean. Two views on fashion, faces, and unfortunates combined into one general consensus.
If you see something you'd like us to Oh Snap! Please send the pic(s) full perms to JellyBean Madison in world.

Oh Snap! How to Spot a Female Impersonator

Laylah: I just don't know where to start with this one. I'll say that, overall you can tell a crossAVer by their body type. Men see women in a series of features as they differ from their own. Hair, tits, and hips.
JellyBean: Serious mental issues guys. Is it cause your mommy didn't hug you as much as you wanted?
Laylah: So, the easiest way to spot one is, obviously, to note these things. In the first picture you see the massive hips and the small waist. This is very common, as is the huge (and badly done) tattoo .. or are those panties? Either way, it's an overly fem icon, as if to say "Look at me, I am a pretty girl. I like butterflies."
JellyBean: Really I think the crossAVers just want to feel themselves up or look at themselves naked. I don't think in most cases it's to attract the opposite AV sex. If it is, ewww! you sickos.
Laylah: Real women do not feel the need to announce their gender in such garish ways. This person might as well be wearing a sign around their neck reading, "Hi, my name is Tom McFatass and I live in my mother's basement."

Laylah: As we travel up the body you will see just how small that waist is compared to the giant missiles attached to this person's chest. Now, far be it for me to tell you big boobs are bad, Hell, I'm known as 'Bewbs'... But the fact remains, these boobs are massively over sized and the curves aren't really curves at all; more like cliffs.
JellyBean: Cliffs? Are you kidding me? These are hot air balloons or air bags. Very very useful in case of a face plant into a sidewalk. They could possibly save his/her life.


Laylah: Lastly, we have the face. Usually square-jawed, as men don't pay too much attention to this. I wish it were simple enough as looking for an Adam's apple! Instead, we get the hair. Sometimes overly fem, usually just badly done. CrossAVers seem to be texture-blind when it comes to hair - at least this one is. Lets not forget the fact that the hair does not suit the face... and is badly aligned.
JellyBean: Do men ever line their hair up right? Nah, not really. I think it's more buy & wear - hope for the best for most. But yes, this very bad hair for a toothpick of an av with air bags & wide hips.

Oh, Snap!
An MG Blawg Post Series with Laylah & JellyBean. Two views on fashion, faces, and unfortunates combined into one general consensus.

Technosexual boys make me “unf unf ung.”

I can't help it, I just can't. Something about the way they nudge their glasses up as they're bending over my overheating box, nimble fingers poised to seek and probe my ports. I love to download my software onto their hardware... and forcing them to overclock their poor defenseless CPUs just to keep up with me.

I've always had a thing for computer geeks... Listening to them talk shop makes me all creamy even though, most of the time I have no idea what they're talking about.

There's something so sexy about a guy who knows his way around a computer. For years geeks, dorks, and nerds were overlooked by females who considered them undesirable because of their obsessions with all things technological. It was a stigma be be considered smart or computer savvy. Ladies, let me tell you, you are making a huge mistake if you are discounting these guys on principle alone.

This is, of course, a generalization – all 'cliques' or labeled groups have their sub-groups and oddities.

I find that, as a whole, computer geeks really know how to research a subject. Just because they have never done it (whatever it may be *grins*) doesn't mean they haven't looked it up and figured it out already. I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised if you give it a go – the curiosity and eagerness will more than make up for lack of experience! I mean, have you ever met a jock or pretty-boy who actually took the time to research the location of the g-spot? I sure haven't ... *grumbles*

So, the next time you call over the geek squad to take a look at your box... Don't hesitate to slip those glasses off, hop up on the desk, pull him over by that sexy ass tie and offer to play secretary. I highly doubt you'll be disappointed.

....For god's sake, people - Comment! I won't bite!

Oh Snap! How to Spot A Slut

Spotting a slut tip #1
Laylah: if you can fuck her without removing or re-arranging any clothing then she's probably a slut. Case in point - the slut-skirt. I don't see any panties.. and at that length I should be able to. She might as well be wearing kneepads for all the wear-and-tear she'll be getting.
JellyBean: Easy access is always perfect for a quickie in an alleyway, backseat, parking lot, trash dumpster, etc. etc.

Spotting a slut tip #2
Laylah: Ha - the kneepads. See, I told you. Slut. If the boots go over her knees, it's not a fashion statement.. it's to hide the scars from past rug burn and prevent future injuries.
JellyBean: Safety first! Especially in this lifestyle, one can't let them know she's not as sweet & innocent as she's trying to make herself out to be. This is where dark places come in play if she's asked to remove her boots.
Laylah: Notice the heavy hardware on these boots - That's to prevent kneepad slippage. Yeah, this one is strapped in and ready to go.

Spotting a slut tip #3
Laylah: See these lips? 9 times out of 10 sluts will have the textbook 'face you want to fuck.' Those full lips are bred in from slut generation to slut generation, humans adapt to their surroundings. Blow job lips are a necessity in the slut lifestyle. Who wants to get head from a bitch that's all teeth? These bee stung pillows of flesh are easily pulled in and over the teeth to keep your blow jobs all tongue-and-sucking.

Spotting a slut tip #4
Laylah: The Tramp Stamp (tm)! is the lower back tattoo. Might as well be a bullseye. If you're lucky it'll tell you just how easy she is. Words like "Slut" "Whore" or "Free" are good ones. Don't be put-off if the tattoo says something like "Daddy" or "Innocent" though, the Tramp Stamp (tm) has and will always mean she's a slut, regardless of what it says.
JellyBean: If it's in a foreign language, just assume it says "Cum here". You'll probably be right.

Laylah: It's really too bad that SL doesn't give you diseases. Someone should make a free copy/trans skin with herpes around those BJ lips... Or crack pipe scars. Then we could give them out to the whores.Or draw meat curtains hanging down their legs. Prim meat curtain attachments for SL porn stars! You know those bitches aren't tight. Just jumping from pose ball to pose ball with every Tom, (Dick), and Harry.

Oh, Snap!
An MG Blawg Post Series with Laylah & JellyBean.
Two views on fashion, faces, and unfortunates combined into one general consensus.

Mean Is Not Synonymous With Heartless.

Quoted from Jelly's 'Do' list is one very small but VERY important DO:

"Take into consideration that the people you encounter are REAL people playing just like yourself and can be affected by you and what you say/do."

Now, to most people this is common sense. To others, unfortunately, not so much.

So, I log in to SL last night and do my usual rounds of 'hello, hi how are you's and I get a reply from “B” saying 'not very good.' We get to talking and she finally spills – someone, someone who said she was a friend, got mad at B and told her that she hoped her cancer kills her.

Let me say that again, because the sheer stupidity bares repeating: “I HOPE YOUR CANCER KILLS YOU.”

What. The. Fuck? Would you say something like this to someone, face to face? Would you have the testicular fortitude to stand there and watch that someone's heart break and know it was your fault? We're talking about a RL person here, a special unique snowflake of special unique specialness, etc... Not some NPC (Non-Player Character, for the non-nerds). I have watched a few blogs and have seen this happen to quite a few people... It's just not acceptable.

Just because you aren't face to face to see the devastation you have created doesn't mean it isn't just wrecking someone's feelings. To the person who did this, and all people who have done this, you should be damn ashamed of yourselves! Would you say something like that in front of your mother? No – cause if she was a good mother she'd have whooped your ass for shit like this.

As stated above, mean is not synonymous with heartless. As a “Mean Girl” I sometimes wonder what, exactly, that implies. Do people think I am a heartless cunt simply because I am honest? Well, honestly, I couldn't care less because the people who DO matter to me already know the truth.

I'm just a gooey-centered pushover and it literally brings me to tears to see people treat one another this way. Try and remember that there is a real person on the other side of that AV and treat them the way you'd want to be treated.

Now, if you're a weird emotional masochist and like having your RL shortcomings, health problems, or drama thrown in your face by some soulless cunt online who has no conscience, no empathy, and no fucking MANNERS... Then, by all means, feel free to continue.

And now, a funny/informative flash about cancer! Don't be panic!

Cancer Has Become the Number One Killer Disease

It's a nice day for a white wedding.

Or.Not.
So you've met Mr. Right (now) and decided to give up your nights of playing cum dumpster to the internet's most sleazy pay-per-half hour clients. Mr. Payment-info-on-file has fallen into your able clutches and you've got him right where you want him; wrapped around your ring finger. Felicitations on your grand match. So – where do you start?

The colors, the dress, shoes, and hair.. the venue, DJ, cake, invitations... and let's not forget the photography to commemorate this glorious joining of pixels and send by the folder-load to your unsuspecting acquaintances! (I didn't show up for a reason, people. I do not want to see the stupid pictures.) There's so much to do and so few well-organized resources.

For a busy girl like me, planning a wedding myself is just too much to ask. (Seriously, I wear like so many hats it's starting to crush my big pornstar-Texan curls.) So, I pull up the search and start looking for a wedding planner. I see a few entries and send them IMs. Now, I assume that these IMs got lost in a void somewhere because of the million I sent I got ONE response. This wouldn't have been so bad if this planner was competent at all.

People, seriously, being able to use the 'search' function does not make you a wedding planner.

I don't mean to be a Bridezilla, but there are a few things I am looking for when I seek out a planner. For one, do you really think it's too much to ask that you have a firm grasp of what you're supposed to be doing? When I ask you for a sample of your work I want to see a portfolio – a portfolio, people! Some fucking pictures of stuff you've done all put together nice-like so I can see what you offer! I don't want you to describe how you planned your sister's twelfth wedding (held in the lovely, scenic steam room of the Hot Transvestite Hotel) or how you once eloped with a furry.

As someone I am supposed to hire you need to offer me something I can't or won't do myself. Completely custom build? Great. You've got an in with a couple dress designers? Fan-fucking-tastic! Have your own sim/land? Awesome. DJ, invitations, and photography included in final price and you have the staff to do it? Baby, I could kiss you. But do not offer me a set you've used for someone else and tell me oh, you'll change the colors of course.. and then tell me it's going to cost me 45k. For 45k you better be fluffing for the honeymoon.

I love cats... but I can't eat a whole one.

Nekos.

That's right, nekos. If you can't hear the disdain then you're just not listening hard enough. It's way past time for someone to say something. (And, go figure, halfway through writing this I see that the next PWND magazine is -duh- nekos. Awesome. Oh well, I must persevere, it's for the good of the people!) In general nekos are a good idea; cutesy, catty (no pun intended), and it totally gives you a viable excuse for purring like a wanton hussy whenever you damn well feel like it.

Yeah, it's adorable the first 5000 times I see one but there is only so much cat-tail a mouse can take. I know this sounds super hypocritical but really, the girls I log with rock and you don't. So, do us all a favor – When you find yourself bored and think “Hmm.. I should go neko like every other girl in SL” just don't. When I rez into a sim (and this happened the other night, mind you) and every single girl in there is part cat, my allergies start acting up and no one believes me when I tell them that “Cough-cough-sheep-cough” really is just how it sounds when I have a little tickle in my throat. The worst part is... they're multiplying! (And thanks to PWND it's going to be even worse. Good job, Bitches. :P)

Originality is not a sin. Hell, you don't even have to be completely original! You know, if you want to be anthro you can do just about anything. I'm part mouse, my boyfriend is part fox (and all sexy! -pant pant- ) and I know girls that are part bunny. There's a wicked cool naga set with AO and everything so you can be part snake even!

Rip apart a fursuit, build your own, or gather parts around the sims. It takes a bit of looking but it can be done! You do not have to be a catgirl - there is hope!

More designers should make random animal parts .. like raccoons and foxes and mice and bunnies and shit. (Personally, I think I would make one sexy little piggy anthro. Can't you just see it? A cute nose prim and curly tail.. OMFG.) The best place to find a set that isn't kitty is at Hybrid. They are hidden way on the top of the wall but hey, it's a start. They even come with a HUD just like other, better selling cat-girl items do!

Fact is, lots of cool ideas are pushed aside in favor of the “top seller”. I don't begrudge you designers your lindens or props – I know how crappy it can be sometimes... but, don't you think that if we pushed a little more variety we could more than make up in revenues the time spent on the design?

Now, what have we learned? That's right; just say no to 'Neko'... and for god's sake, pass the cheese.

**I'd just like to add... Fuckin' A Right InkD tattoo on the cover of PWND. Have I told you lately that I love you? (Kiss)**

Role Call

Finally! A Blogzine that tackles the hard-hitting issues of our day! A handbook for the things you really need (and want) to know in SL.

Things have changed since SL’s inception. Gone are the days when a nooblet might stumble around blindly for months before realizing the appearance enhancements they could achieve by adding store-bought skin, shape, and prim hair to their invey.

Now, within moments of departing Welcome Island, most noobs are met with the helpful, if not terribly original, advice of more experienced players. Long-time residents of SL prove themselves friendly and helpful to both newer players as well as the icons of the fashion community. As a fresh-faced, wet-behind-the-ears Male avatar, you would be advised of the benefits of doling out just under 2k for a Naughty skin. Guaranteed to earn you hawt points with the skin’s yummy features… and the added bonus of a flaccid chicken!… you’d be armored to face the next step of your transition. But no need to go far! For your prim hair needs you’d be just a hop, skip, and a jump away from the favorites: Tamed, Desire, Deception, and OC at Influence… right there on the same friggen island. For quality men’s clothing, your needs could also be met on Naughty Island… noway!! One-stop shopping! OMG Shup! Oh but yes it’s true. Clothing advice would most likely be tempered with a healthy sprinkling of FORM and DE Designs as well.

As a female noob, the choice to send you directly to Naughty might vary and you might find yourself at Celestial for skins and ETD or Gurl 6 for hair instead. Clothing advice would depend on the style of your guide. We know alts, though, and yes Naughty is often the first and only stop to get your makeover from head to toe.

How do we here at Mean Girls feel about this advice? Why, it’s approved… 110%! This is not the beginner’s guide to SL, however. Think of us as more for the intermediate to advanced user.

You’ve got your shell, backed with the fashion community’s stamp of approval. Your next step is learning the navigation, the things to do, and what you’ll make of your time.

We’ll cover fashion in these pages as well as helping you to find the fun. Our main focus will be on what you do with your Secondlife in a nothing-is-sacred, no-one-is-safe, more honest approach. You know you’ve thought it… we’re just giving it voice.

We’ve assembled a group of experienced users to shed light on the serious topics in SL such as reships, drama, land, money, group affiliation, and jobs. These will be covered with upcoming features such as:

• Confessions
• How To’s
• She Said… She Said
• Do’s and Don’ts
• Rules
• Interviews
• Dear Rosies

Asked what kind of pet peeves the girls have, I found that this list could be combined… I mean does anyone like bling? Other annoyances included:

• Lag
• Overly-used gestures with the exception of Hooooo!
• Douchebags
• Mental Case
• Ignorance
• Fake people
• Fair-weather friends
• Missing Image
• Map Stalkers (there is a difference between map stalking and map watching people!)
• Chat spam (i.e., unruly gestures that color outside the lines, Xcite! Parts notifications, pregnancy indicators)

And now let me introduce your guides:


JellyBean Madison
Never had an issue stating her opinion, no stranger to blogging, and looks good with pom poms that she will not hesitate to throw down and get in your face yo! She’s a machinamaniac and our resident expert on finding the fun. A bubbly ray of pink sunshine on most days, she won’t hesitate to point out that the path you’re on may lead to mute and ban. A teeshirt and jeans kinda girl, she cleans up well and can stand nose to nose with any haughty debutante Barbie doll in the land. What does she bring to the Mean Girl’s Party? Tostitos and cheese, betch! Oh and insight into the lives of her mantourage as well!

Akasha Nyak
Enemy of spellcheck (yes her blogs will be proofread), she could care less what you think of her. More likely to stab you than take the time to spell out her frustration with you, she brings her witty, sharp tongue and flicks her purple tail with irritation at the ignorant masses. Though sometimes quiet (it’s the goth in her) and does not share all her thoughts, you will undoubtedly know where you stand with Akasha Nyak. Rarely do other’s opinions matter to her… and matter less if you’re among the shallow, spell-checking, manslut variety. She is an innovative builder who loves finding new sims and designs and spending time with close friends. She’s bringing the Dewwwww… oh and the stabbing!

Petme Petunia
Like the Spice Girls, the Mean Girls strive to be defined individually. Though Pet campaigned hard for Big Ass Slut, she was vetoed by the rest and is now known for her elegance. Though I’ve known Pet for just a short time, she’s growing on me. She’s unafraid to tell it like it is nor is she too shy to ask the questions you all want answers to! She claims to have lived a sheltered slife for 2 years but has learned the joy of ragging on people and fighting… she doesn’t care if you think she’s a biatch… that you think of her is enough :P Pet loves the talent showcased in SL and has a knack for having talented friends, she says. She has no problem sharing her opinion or asking questions that most polite people would refrain from. She brings her love of people and her observations of the good and the bad that make people who they are… though the bad makes for a more interesting read!

Laylah Mistral
Stinging wit coupled with a silver tongue is our very own Lala. A very popular and talented tattoo artist who is disgustingly in uber love with her fiancé (try them on skype together you’ll see what I mean), Laylah strives to shed the light on the not-so-impressive job market in SL and have fun with her friends. She flies by the seat of her pants and her amazing mastery of her ADD is sure to provide interest and insight into the lives of the populace. Kinda trashy, kinda classy, and way too much fun, Lala is the Keeper of The Rack and can be used as a model for the Bewbs.

Rosie Shark
A Barbie Doll at her core, she’s recently taken a walk on the wilder side… much-encouraged by dirty designers and tomboy friends. At first taken as quiet, shy, and snobby, it often takes a second look to realize she’s merely choosing her words. Though she claims to be one of the nicest people you will ever meet, her alliance with and involvement in The Mean Girls leaves room for speculation. She cherishes the friends she has made and the people she has met in SL and looks forward to many adventures to come. With an obscene like for the silly and no stranger to making mistakes, she aims to point out what she’s learned and how others could do it better… and with more finesse.

Join us, won’t you, on our journey. We aim to poke fun, yes… but we are an equal opportunity blog! Time enough to point out the misadventures of many different slifestyles and types. Many times I’m sure you’ll find your own thoughts and beliefs among the fun, sarcastic, opinionated, sometimes jaded, always hopeful heap that is The Mean Girls.