Where Oh Where Has Our Dear Orchid Gone?

I'm wearing purple in mourning because our beloved Orchid seems to have vanished without a trace. Even on her own blog her posts have become less frequent. Should we send out a search party?

Come back to us, Orchid!!! WE MISS YOU!!!

Blog Drama and You

Its no secret that blogs are filled with drama. Not only SL fashion blogs, but personal ones as well. My husband finds it hilarious that I find such amusement in 'blog trolling'. I'm a silent observer - so I have to remind him that I'm not an actual troll. Its all the same to him, though.

Most days, Second Life is like a soap opera to me. My monitor is like a television while I sit and watch these plots and story lines unfold. I try to pick the villains from the heroes while the verbal abuse spews from commenter's fingers with marksman-like accuracy. There are times I imagine funny images of "POW" "Zip!" and "BANG" flash across the screen in the equivalent of the early 1990s 'Your Momma' jokes. Its hysterical!

Then I have to ask myself - who is taking this seriously? Who is actually trying to inflict some sort of real pain and who's just in it for the lulz. The folks who's first few words are "I hate drama" are usually the ones that I watch more closely than the ones that make no mention of that naughty five letter word. Do I have drama? Of course I do! I think everyone does in some shape or form.

People come to Second Life for different reasons. For some its a creative outlet - though the definition of 'creative' is often distorted to whatever the 'creator' wants it to mean. Some folks venture into SL to experience things they can't be part of in real life - and in such an exploration they are rewarded with drama. Stop fighting it! Drama just happens, and it only gets worse with the more acclaim, fame, or infamy that you acquire in SL. It isn't any different IRL. The more famous you are IRL - the more scandal you're surrounded with. The more money you have, the more people want from you. Its just this hard-knock fact of not only life, but Second Life.

Many think that because you live your life (or second life) in the public limelight that everything becomes public domain. Is this true? To an extent. If you're going to make a complete ass of yourself, expect to be labeled an ass and definitely expect for that occasion to not go forgotten for a decent period of time (and sometimes never!)

I've thought all this time that maybe just my twisted sense of humor hasn't allowed me to fully appreciate some bloggers as humans. Well okay, that's true. There are some blogs I'll read just because they are so hideously filled with the most stupid sense of drama that it reminds me of Dallas or Knotts Landing. Its so ridiculous that you just have to sit and watch. It's also highly possible that I take the written word far too literally and find just as much amusement in the mental images projected from what some bloggers say/write.

Its also funny to me how defensive people get against such small, trivial things. If I were to stand on a blog soapbox and proclaim something which doesn't even matter like .. "I hate apple juice and I don't care what you say!" that someone would be completely appalled by my statement and feel the need for rebuttal. Does that mean I should indulge them by stating every single reason why I hate apple juice - or does that give me any kind of blogging right to tell everyone who DOES like apple juice that they are wrong? No, but that doesn't mean that the apple juice lovers won't unite against me in blind rage of their love of the fruity drink.

There are, of course, different levels of drama. Some SL drama is just that - SL drama. Its shit that goes on in world that really shouldn't involve other people, but someone has felt the need (urge?) to proclaim their emotions publicly which then makes it everyone's drama. The problem with big communities like SL is that there is such a wide range of emotions, ideals, interests and social standards that you can always bet that no matter what you think/say/do that there will be someone right behind you with a lynch mob ready to take you down. Should there be? No, but it is entertaining!

I do find it hilarious that in a community that was formed on the ideas of sharing that so many people are so selfish with their knowledge. 99% of designers don't do any form of tutorial to say - this is the basis on which you should start. Instead everyone is left to fend for themselves and do things trial-and-error and in the meantime get their asses kicked on fashion blogs about how bad they fucking suck. This then leads to drama - and there are fewer dramas more entertaining than designer drama.

Some designers are so quick to cry "thief" that they forget that their very own SL logo is VERY heavily borrowed from a very famous RL brand. Is this not theft? Or is it called inspiration? If I were to make a wig which was almost identical to one of Six Kennedy's .. but I made my own texture - would I be lynched as a thief or would I be able to pull that 'inspiration' card? Its hard to say. It would depend on who you are, who your friends are, and which blogger gets a hold of your weave.

Should bloggers be able to publicly maim other human beings? I don't know. I honestly don't care - unless it came down to insulting them on a RL basis. RL drama is probably the most touchy of all the dramas, but its no less entertaining. At least in my eyes.

I have my share of RL drama - and I'm sure the rest of SL does too. But if you 'hate' drama, why do you even talk about it? Its because you can't avoid it - and you can say you hate it all day long but in all reality drama is what makes the world go round ... even virtual ones. There are the drama mongers which will start it, the drama stirrers which will read deeper into it to keep it going, then there are the drama referees who will sit on the sidelines with their popcorn and just dream of the day that they get to sit in and hear a drama fight on voice (I've yet to sit in on one of these events).

So if some blogger is all up in your KoolAid and talking shit about you - why not just switch to another fruity drink? Like apple juice.

SL Racism

"I don't care if you're black, white, purple or green!" I'm sure everyone has heard this in some shape or form in their lives (or SLives) -- but how true is it?

IRL you can't be purple or green, but in SL you can ... but so few are. As a colored avatar with a taste for wacky fashion - I've found that racism in SL is very cut and dry. I won't even bring a RL spin on it because that's a whole post in itself (ie the lack of realistic black skins beyond just being what I would consider a dark 'California' tan) and instead I'll only address what I'm familiar with.

So many folks have said that they dress their avatars in ways they wouldn't dress themselves IRL. I totally understand. Lots of folks say they choose not to be their 'RL' self because that would be boring to them, and I can kinda see that too. But seriously, does dressing your avatar like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany's really give you that aire of individuality and excitement you're seeking? Is that really how you wish you could look?

I understand that if you run a business there are certain social stigmas (for lack of a better word) that go along with that responsibility. Somehow it isn't viewed as 'acceptable' to dress yourself as a seven foot tall Moogle who farts colorful stars (if someone makes that av I gotta have one!) if you plan to have any respect when it comes to customer interaction. The fact of the matter is: in SL you are judged on how you look - down to what color your skin is.

People say "I love my friends for who they are!" but nine times out of ten their friends just look like clones of the person who said that. Its completely understandable that you get in where you fit in (haha!) and people will choose who they want to talk to based up on appearance because hey - if they look like you they probably like the same stuff you do, right?

When will things move beyond appearances? When will it not matter if you have the hottest new skin/hair and matter more on the content of potential conversation? In a social MMO platform such as Second Life - I would think that people would be more socially minded and not so .. well .. small minded.

My avatar is purple. Purple hair, dorky t shirts, knee high socks, tennis shoes, and purple skin. I like how she looks. She's interesting, and in my opinion engaging. But there's a problem: no one else does. Okay so it isn't really a problem because I'm really not into the social scene much these days - but I was once upon a time! Even now I find myself roaming about just to see if there's any good conversation to be had. There really is more to SL than shopping and looped dances.

Over the past year I've done a bit of what I'd call an experiment. I found a couple 'normal' skins that I like to accompany the purple skins that I feel are really 'me'. When I wanted to make a 'quick' friend, I'd wear a normal skin and try to make my outfit match before I visited somewhere. People came up to me to talk, even though the conversation was 'petty'. You know "Wow I love your shoes where'd you get em?" or "Oooh that's a really cool shirt, who made it?" That kind of thing. But I always get the opposite reaction when I'm purple.

I can visit the same sim in 'my' kind of dress and not a soul will talk to me. When this happens I take innitiative. I start out with a simple 'Hi' usually ... which generates little to no response. Oooh back away I'm purple! It might be *gulp* contagious!

As I said earlier, I understand the 'business' end of having to look 'normal'. I've been operating a video business in SL for almost three years now (with the help of my husband Keith/Bebop Vox) and though its always seemed to be okay for HIM to look like a cyborg - I get shoddy treatment from clients when I'm in my purple skin. But once I slap on a CS or ND skin - all is right as rain! Its funny, but at the same time very very sad.

Why is it funny? Its funny to me because I know that the individuals who judge in such a way are in no position to do so. Even if you're a multi millionaire - you have no right to judge another person. Another thing that makes it funny is that big DUH factor of it just being an avatar. But it makes me wonder .. if these people have such a small tolerance for a deviation from the 'norm' here in SL .. what are they like IRL? And suddenly that's when it isn't funny anymore. They really are just being racist because I'm not whatever color they are (which ranges from redhead pale to Tom Jones Tan).

Many people have said "Oh don't be silly! There's no racism in SL!" Then I ask "Why are there so few skin makers that cater to anyone of color (ANY COLOR besides white, tan, and Christmas Turkey Skin). Why am I treated differently when I wear a skin made by Starley or Ambyance than when I wear my beloved Wysteria skin by Munchflower if there is no racism? Since there is no racism then every skin maker should have a rainbow of skin colors - or even have an actual black skin.

I've just come to the conclusion that content creation isn't about creativity at all - its about money. Content creators don't make things that make them happy .. they make things that the droning masses will buy. Sally Skinmaker doesn't care what color you WANT to be, she cares about what color you'll buy when you have a limited choice.

Neato Mulligans: Dance Edition

Once upon a time in a vast world called The Asset Server there were ways to make avatars move. These limited, though still entertaining animations were used widely by SL residents. Noobs and Oldbies alike all danced in similar fashion without a care in the world. We even jump-kicked around like a Redneck Lord of the Dance. No one could escape the call of rating parties while dancing, chatting, and passing out random things to one another.

Times were simpler then. Prim hair was attached to system hair bases, folks had figured out how to build shoes with prims instead of using the previous method of putting a texture on a template - and the first prim skirt was not yet 'invented'. Yes, those were the days.

The days when 'dancing sexy' meant taking off your clothes while doing dance14 and no one cared what you wore. Everyone looked like shit - but we all thought we looked awesome. Our dances looked like shit but we all thought they were the coolest thing since 90210.

Although the rating system is gone, as well as the parties - those days are not forgotten. Even though the freebies being passed around are the same freebies which made their rounds back in 2005 - noobs are still appreciative. And even though these 'old' dances have lost their top seat in chimeras and dance machines in every club in SL - some of us remember.

Owenimations had created the then cutting-edge of club necessity when the Chimera was released. Finally you could dance in sync with other club goers! Long before the Dance Foo, and not long after dance bracelets-we celebrated our synchronized dancing with MORE dancing. Yes the times have changed.

The way folks flock to Sine Wave Island now days is how we had all once flocked to Owenimation vendors. There were so many dances to choose from! The floor in front of the clicky-wall to demo the dances was always packed with all the girls wearing Washu wigs, the men wearing the same Lost hair (all hair was pretty much either blonde or black - those were your only choices back then) and we thought we were badasses.

Dancing in only the past 3 years has gone from jerky movements where your arms randomly flail about and your joints break to smooth, realistic, almost artistic movements of fluidity. There is more to gain from those 'old' dances than mere nostalgia though, my friends. Oh yes! If you don't have at least 4 of these dances somewhere in your inventory then you're probably an alt - funded by your better known, richer self.

Once a means of entertainment, now some sort of 'chic' thing ... dancing is one thing that will evolve for the better in SL. Fashion may bomb into nothing but tank tops, blue jeans and neko ears - but dancing has and always will be an art of self expression that will never go out of style. I still say that Dance14 is the ONLY dance that can be recognized (by resident majority) in a snapzilla snapshot NO MATTER where the snap was taken during the animation loop.

I present: The Evolution of Second Life Dance

"Who are YOU to say ..."

When I first started posting here at MGG2SL I only read comments on 'articles' (and I use that term VERY loosely) that I had posted. Lately though, I've been reading comments on all the posts not only for the humor but for the spew. I'm a spectator in a lot of ways, perhaps I'd even go so far as to call myself a blog voyeur but recently I feel like there are a lot of things left unsaid.

Recently a lot of comments have been geared towards things like "Who are YOU to say you're A-List?" "Who are YOU to say what looks good?" and "This is soooo highschool." Of course those aren't direct quotes, but I'm too lazy to go back. Besides, its the principal of the matter.

I'll begin by addressing the A-List bashing. Who are WE to say we're A-List? First off, who are YOU to say we aren't? We have just as much right (for lack of a better term) to call ourselves A-List as you have to say that we're not. People are so quick to grab onto that whole "Your World, Your Imagination" bull-cheese when trying to justify themselves (or others) of their actions that they don't seem to think that such a motto applies to anything else. Guess what? It does.

In the real world, A-List celebrities get paid money to endorse things, make appearances at clubs/companies ... bottom line is they get paid a lot of money for a lot of things. So in that sense, no we aren't A-list. We don't get paid to say "Hey what do YOU think about ..." as a matter of fact, few A-List celebrities even ask anything out of their 'fans'. They don't have profound views on things and if they do its kept under wraps because their manager feels it would be in their best interest.

Well as many probably have deducted we don't have managers that keep a muzzle on us. We say what we say when we say it because that's how we feel. Do we regret any of it later? Who knows - but if we did would that really matter? Are we not allowed to voice an opinion regardless of what this backwards SL Society says - just because what -seems- to be majority thinks otherwise? Who are we to call ourselves A-List? Who are you to think that you're any better? To my knowledge, no one here at MG has ever claimed to be better than anyone else and has -NEVER- insulted another person. Their product, yes. Their actions, more than a few times - but a person? No. Well, except for for the Laylah "bashing" but as most know - such exchanges between friends isn't ill-willed. Yeah like you've never called your friend a slut or retarded?

Some throw that 'teeny bopper' element in and I really think its all on how you look at it. Is the "Meat n Greet" series too Teen Magazine for you? To be honest I'm not much into it. I'll admit that if I were simply to add a penis - I'd be one of the guys that reads Playboy for the articles. Maybe because I'm insecure in my physical looks I never really pay much attention to anyone else's appearance in hopes they aren't looking at me? That's an entirely relevant theory -- WHICH is why I don't blog fashion. Yeah I like how my avatar looks to me - she looks a lot like me but with more makeup and better hair ... but all in all I'm not one of those "Omg look at this totally cute outfit! Everyone in SL must have it because its just posh!" Anyone who's read more than just the main page of this blog could probably deduct that and if not - I just said it.

Fashion is one thing - style is another. Style is individual where as fashion is more general. I don't think I really need to go into any depths with that - but a few folks have said that the MGs are biased because we all have the same fashion sense or the same style. It was my impression that friends have things in common. Though we might all enjoy bits and pieces of the same sort of fashions - we all have our own style. For those that haven't noticed I'll just make a quick cap:

• Jelly likes to grunge. Period. She's also gotten a bit into a few 'cutesy' outfits but overall she likes dirt.

• Akasha is more of a rough and tumble tomboy that wears things that make her look like she just walked way from a motorcycle wreck - and it works for her.

• Rosie is more conservative in her style and usually wears things that are sensible.
  

• Laylah I'd compare to your college roommate that will throw on what she had the day before as long as it doesn't smell. The kind that could always pull off that look that looks like the person isn't even trying but it still looks good type of thing, ya know?

• And me? I don't really know. I'd run around in a New Kids on the Block t-shirt and rolled up pants and think I look just as good as if I had on whatever new design is out. Oh and if someone makes a New Kids on the Block t-shirt I demand to know!

You would think that no one would really care, but obviously some do. So for those that do, I outlined AND bulleted it for you.

There are a few that think we have no business telling others what looks good and what doesn't. So maybe they look better? As a matter of fact they look so damn good that they comment anonymously so that we may all revel in their spectacular glow which is their being! Come on. You call us high-schoolish but you're going to write an anonymous message on a bathroom stall? Pot, meet kettle.

Neato Mulligans: Vehicle Edition

In the real world - things that are considered 'classic' never really fall out of style. Normally there is a small group of enthusiasts which keep the spirit of the classic alive. English teachers keep classics like The Adventures of Huck Finn and Romeo and Juliet going strong while movie buffs recommend classic films like The Count of Monte Cristo or Gone With the Wind allow such 'outdated' flicks to still be sought after and loved by even younger viewers.

The same doesn't ring true in Second Life. Though SL could easily be considered an infant among online games - trends have already come and gone in our realm that we very easily call 'classic'. Like scripts in the asset server many of these things have become lost to many of us among droves of boxes in YadNi's Junkyard among other freebie places.

Do any 'older' (not necessarily wiser) residents still whip out any classic items? Most likely not. With the overwhelming rate of content creation (compared to just two years ago) many of these things have just gone .. well .. away. Do I think these things should be widely loved, adored, or even viewable? Not really, but I do think they deserve some recognition. If nothing else they should be revisited - like a fond memory - instead of avoided like the plague.

I hope in the next few posts to cover things that most new residents probably won't know about - and things I wish I could see again. I'll call it Neato Mulligans (Mulligan being a golf term for 'do-over')SL Cars

Alright so everyone and their brother has a Shadow - but what ever happened to these beauties in Dosojin built by ahkenatan Grommet? In my opinion this was the first vintage, retro, 50s styled sim in SL. There might have been others, but if there were they didn't stand out like this place did. akenatan had a diner, old 50s style gas pumps, classic cars .. the whole package was here in this sim and it was just fun to explore! The cars were all prim work - all the way down to the engine. You couldn't drive them but they were simply amazing to look at!

I realize and understand that every one's idea and taste of/in art differs greatly from person to person, but as people of the same community why is it that so many lack appreciation for prim work? It isn't always about who's the biggest badass in Maya or Photoshop - sometimes the best art is that which seems so simple. Like all those cars that akenatan built. Sure, to the outsider they're just cars. Who gives a rip, right? But some of those cars were well over 160 prims and were fully prims! They were sculptures! Instead of having that huge muscled handstand statue in front of your house ... why did no one have a Delorean?




As a matter of fact I loved that sim sooo much that its one of the first places I took Bebop when we were SL dating.

And why do I never see noobs zooming around on the penis hover board .. or any hover board for that matter? Are hover bikes, boards and flying teacups now a joy that SLers no longer experience?! If so, what started this downward spiral of such vile hatred of hysterical laughter and random hilarity?

SL Vehicles: Classics or Extinct? I'd like to know. How many folks have these prim art pieces hidden in their inventory? How many people have all kinds of fun vehicles that they never use just because you get a +5 Pantie Drop skill for whipping out the Shadow as apposed to the prim equivalent of a Plymouth Fury?

Maybe I'm just old. Perhaps I just miss the days of racing my friends around sims in the most god awful vehicles on the grid. We actually had people that built dentist chairs we could fly, toilets that shot out particles that looked like poo, pigs that engulfed your entire screen with pink particle clouds, and bouncing cows. Where's all this fun gone?!

Oh Snap! Out & About on the Grid (Take Deux)

JellyBean: Oh gosh! The response to Oh Snap! Has been insane. People I don't know have been dropping pics on us inworld & I have to say I loveeeeee it! Because we have so many pics & are practically Oh Snap! backlogged, I've asked the other MGs to jump on the series.

Twiggy
JellyBean: Yup that's me in the background. When I saw her I thought "HOLY SHIT! Calista Flockhart hits SL and anorexia will be the new trend." Do you think she had to seriously mod her prim skirt? Her over thinness wouldn't have been so prominent had her tats not reminded me of veins against fragile bone & her AO making her look extremely twiggy! Quick someone get her a cheeseburger, large fries & extra large milkshake!

Laylah: I'm so confused - is that a human or a tree? Maybe a dryad - in which case, perhaps we should plant it. The tattoo even looks like bark! Someone give this girl a cheeseburger, STAT! I hope the emaciated crack-whore look doesn't become en-vogue because it's completely disgusting and totally at-odds with my banana split lovin ass. I'm going to go ahead and invoke Rule 34 on this - Hippies, start fappin.

Orchid: what's running down her leg? chawklit rain? ROFLLL I'm trying to decide what look she's trying to pull off. I think I'll call it the "Billy Ray meets Crocodile Hunter on the set of Pimps Up Hoes Down" cuz wtf is with the hooker boots? She almost looks like one of the Olsen twins .. when they were 8. Seriously though you could feed her the fries, shake and burger ... but it still won't help the fact that her arms are penetrating her breasts. If she's THAT thin and the pose is bunk ... that's just a BAD pose. Do people not sit on a pose stand to demo this stuff?

Small French Penor
JellyBean: Thank the Lindens for farking walls! Two words: PENIS PUMP!

Laylah: *In a horrible, affected french accent* "Uhh huh huh huh, Monsieur, I see your Oui Oui!" Maybe I am just accustomed to giant willies in SL (See Biggun's Flesh Rocket!!) but even for a '16 year old French boy' this seems .. small. Perhaps it's a French thing. Someone get out the siren, this is grade a child porn... Except it's not really a child. This is poor Jelly's neighbor. Someone turn this guy in - disgusting pervert. I see his balls .. erm, poseballs and I'm pretty sure they don't make him clean his room. Start the witch hunt here, guys. *hork*

Orchid: Once again - a noob who doesn't thave the money for a skin but has had enough foreski ... foresight to purchase a penis. Now THAT is priority! He needs to hit a butterfly machine ... got a little man boob goin on, and even though I love a good preforming drag queen as much as the next easily amused person .. those gloves gotta go. Looks like he got a bit too worked up .. either that or his choker is too tight. Or is he embarrassed? What's that red shit on his face?! I think its proportionate .. but its just ugly. At least his nuts don't look like a brain though! You seen those? The prim 'nads that look like they came right out of a Jhonen Vasquez drawing?

Holy Hulk Hogan
JellyBean: I so wish I coulda been there to witness this in person. Neck up she's as lovely as a flower, neck down I fear for my slife. What the fuck are they putting in the water at SLeek?

Laylah: Oh yeah, Hulkamania! Off subject, wanna know something sad? My rl mom thinks the Hulk is sexy. LOL Anyway - Wow. This girl must work out a lot. And they call making tiny prims 'prim torture' - I wonder what those poor prims did to deserve this. Even steroid lady can not resist the lure of the bling! How do you even wear clothes over this? I see she's not wearing any panties - I shudder to think of where they've gone. I wonder if this girl knows what kind of hairy-palmed crowd she's kink-catering too? You know, I think I am a little jealous. I needs me a set of these giant muscles to pimp out. MG's - Beefed up! Hilarious! Seriously - where do you buy these? LOL

Orchid: Okay ... so I have to figure out if this is a woman or a mullet wearing man? God all those prims! Though its a work of art and I can totally appreciate the craftsmanship of it - Ew. And she isn't even wearing any bottoms! But I can't tell if there's a tuck ... or if its a cooter. But no matter what .. they have their bling and apparently that's all that matters. "I might be ugly as fuck and be accused of being a man .. and I might not be able to fit through a doorway - but god damn it my toes bling!"Toe bling! ftw

JoyStick Hair
Laylah: Joystick Hair: Wow, you know I'm the kind of girl who says "Let go of my hair I know what I'm doing" but this girl's hair just screams "Grab on and twist this bitch like you're at game point on pong!" Seriously, I guess that might be comforting though. Mmm, Atari - You never forget your first! Geeks around the grid will be looking for the quarter slot on this bitch. And I don't even want to know what is on her thigh but I think her coolant is leaking.

Orchid: See that hair only works on like ... someone who's RPing some kind of midevial type character or a shao-lin monk LOL! OMFG she has that shiny layer thing on .. that's another rant that's on my back burner. So she has on this taxi cab yellow 'kini .... but ugly ass black Budweiser socks? That's horrible product placement! and what's running down her thigh? that a bruise from the stripper pole?

Oh, Snap!
An MG Blawg Post Series. Views on fashion, faces, and unfortunates combined into one general consensus.
If you see something you'd like us to Oh Snap! Please send the pic(s) full perms to JellyBean Madison in world.

Confessions and Opinions of a Geek

Unless you live in a dark cave (no offense to any 'drows') you've come in contact with some form of alternative lifestyle in Second Life. It isn't really anything new, most of us have just turned our head when we see a huge muscle bound man with no shirt tugging a woman around on a scripted leash - and most of us don't pay any mind to the weird typing when T/they talk about T/their P/partner. I'm sure I fubbed that up - but you know what I mean.

Most of the alternative lifestyles that exist in Second Life also exist in Real Life, though most are far from open about it in SL than in real life. Its Taboo in most cases. I've even come face to face with a few folks in fursuits at Comic Conventions and the like. Whatever floats your boat - I don't really care. My problem lies in those that are evangelical about their alternative lifestyle.

You know the type. They walk up to you and assume you're a complete open book and start preaching their 'gospel' about whatever life they lead. I'm really glad that those folks found a community in which they 'belong' but that by no means translates into "Recruit me!" Am I giving some kind of invisible signal or am I just being too damn nice for my own good towhere those Alternative Folks take my hospitality for interest?

I am the first to admit that I'm a geek. Don't get that confused with nerd, though. Nerds are typically very technologically minded whereas geeks usually aren't. There are exceptions to every rule though, so of course there are some that are borderline. I would consider myself to be a geeky dork since dorks are easily amused and can entertain themselves with what most would deem 'mundane' or 'retarded'. Maybe I should explain further ...

Quite a few of my SL friends are RL friends also - and others have just made their way into RL status. I'm sure most can identify with this. At any rate, like all friends we share many things in common. Of course many of my friends don't share a few of my interests, but no big! We share enough towhere we can carry on a conversation but have enough differences that things stay interesting. That's what friendship is all about anyway, isn't it?

A few of my friends and I are huge geeks. We like comic books and fantasy games/books. We're the type that can sit around and talk about the first Dragon Lance book we ever read like most people sit and reminice about their High School Prom. We don't question it - we're just geeks! Some may say that Geekdom is a form of alternative lifestyle and I can't say I could argue. We have our own lingo, our own means of identifying each other: both of those being two major keys to any lifestyle.

There's literally a lifestyle for anything you could imagine - both IRL and SL. I will agree that SL makes living or faux-living an alternative lifestyle much much easier not only with anomimity but with acceptance. You don't have to search high and low for what you're into - you just need to enter in a few key words into a search bar and viola! Its much better than a forum because unless you're more on the geek side of things - simple reading just isn't enough. In SL you can see your actions portrayed in real time and actually get a feel for what you're seeing. I totally understand!

My geek friends and I play Dungeons and Dragons in SL. It isn't a fact I try to hide, and in this adventure I'm a level 4 Wizard with a feline familiar. Rarely if EVER do I roam the grid in my wizard gear, but we all do dress up IC (In Character) while we're playing. I usually slap myself in Busy mode while we're playing so that I can give it my full attention. However: When I am looking for new leet wizard gear I will traipse around in full geek costume while I shop. One such shopping spree is what lead me to post this.

"I am not a slave. I am a wizard." I bet I said that line thirty or more times in the couple hours I was out shopping for a nice staff. It seemed without fail that every sim I went to that offered 'fantasy' items was full of Gorean men just looking to score some vulnerable wench. I'm not your girl, fellas. I don't have a single thing against Gorean people - as a matter of fact I can see some of its appeal on a geek level. Where else can you get continuous role play? Where else can you go in SL that you know everyone is going to be IC? Even the furry places are full of kawaii faces that seem to make it hard to take anything said on a RP basis seriously. Alright time for another confession: I spent 5 years in a text based RPG full of anthropomorphic felines, canines, lapines, and drakes. I'm a geek I know! But I've totally gone off the main topic and need to claw my way back ...

I used the search tools available to me which are also available to every other resident in SL in order to find myself a new badass staff. I had about 4 hours to find one before we sat down and I had to get my spells together. Four hours may sound like a long time, but it really isn't when you have to pick only ten spells to use for the entire adventure without picking anything stupid that you won't need but which seemed like a good idea to have 'just in case'.

Even folks that have never played D&D are familiar with it so I won't bore anyone to tears with any details. Due to the fact that we play it in SL - our DM builds the maps as we go. We click the dice for our rolls and its far more visual than normal D&D. Even though we're a group of geeks our game time is still filled with lots of LOLs and ROFLs. We are friends afterall - dungeon or not!

Periodically we feel the need to update our character's looks. We never stray far from our sheet, though. As a wizard though, I don't wear any armor. This means I wear the clothes on my back and I rely on my badass spells to save me. Due to the fantasy angle as well as the guidelines which are set out - I have to shop in Gorean themed sims to find clothing. I dont' care, really ... until someone comes up to me and starts preaching. Slender tanned girls with that gross ass weave asking me where my Master is. I don't have one! I'm not a slave! Then they can't understand how I'm not a slave if I'm wearing 'silks'. Oh you mean my wizard garb? Well evidently I'm dubbed Gorean, not wizard.

No one can say anything bad about you if you don't piss them off - that's almost a given. And that applies to alternative lifestyles too. No one can diss whatever life you want to lead unless you do something stupid. The heads on furry avs freak me out - but as a community - never have I been harassed. Yeah sometimes I get sick to death of seeing ^.^ >.> XD n.n I'm only a feminist when its convenient for me (hypocritical I know but its true for a lot of women) because I see feminism as sexist also. Anyway, I can't count the times I've been harassed by Goreans and 3/4 of the time I wasn't even in my wizard stuff which most Gors find to be within their jurisdiction of attempting to wrangle me like a stray cow.

I, personally, find it stupid to assume that everyone is into whatever it is you're doing. Some aren't! I'm totally not for some sweaty, pony-tail donning, shirtless twat waffle of a man dragging me around and me sitting in one damn spot waiting for him to log in ... only to share my attention with some other tramp who's idea of RP is some cheap one-liner. But if that kind of thing is what makes someone happy then go for it - just don't shove it down MY throat.

Sometimes lifestyles cross thread. Like fantasy RP and the Gor scene. There is a difference in a drow dressed in 'silks' and a slave girl in a similar outfit. To most it would all look the same - but its totally different. Its like comparing SL to Mario Kart. Not all RP is sex based and I hate the fact that it seems in SL that its turned that way. Not all RP is about a relationship. Not all relationships stop when you hit that red X in the upper right hand corner.

For those that lead an alternative lifestyle in SL: Keep your lifestyle contained. Not everyone understands it and most won't approve but that doesn't give you any right to smear it in their face. If you want to play slave that's fine: but don't do it in the middle of ETD while I'm shopping for hair. Its one thing to dress the part, its another to make everyone else play along. Even by them reading your text they are being more than tolerant and that should be respected just as much as your decision to lead your chosen lifestyle.

I can only imagine the number of IMs designers get from a girl's Master telling them that "My girl purchased This Outfit on This Date and it does not meet my standards. She would like a refund." And laugh as you may - and some may say "Oh that doesn't happen" it does. A few friends of mine get IMs like that all the time.

I think in general IMs should be considered OOC (Out Of Character). I'm not sure why there is no Guide for Basic RP in Second Life but I wish there was. I can never tell where RP ends and normal conversation begins a lot of times.

When you see someone dressed similarly to you - don't assume that whatever you're into that they are into it also. Most often than not they aren't. Especially when it comes to alternative lifestyles. Maybe they just like the fashion, but don't like all the binding that comes with it.

Text Hearts

I'm well aware of the past posts about relationships, and after reading back over them I had decided how they mostly cover the subject of how to deal with a breakup and not so much of how to conduct yourself during the relationship. Whyyy?

I am far from being any kind of authority on relationships, much less relationships in SL - but what I'm not lacking is common sense. I've had one SL relationship so I haven't got many notches in the 'ol belt either. At any rate, I only bring all this up due to my recent experience with the completely wrong couple. Let me explain:

A couple days ago I was hanging out with a male friend of mine at his place of residence in SL. He was showing me this house he had recently built for his SLGF (Second Life Girl Friend) after she had seen a picture of it in some mag. I had said something that amounted to "That's fucking romantic, man." and praised his work. Minimalism isn't my style - but I like to look at it. So he and I are standing around in what little front yard the couple share, bantering back and forth about board games from the early 90s such as Girl Talk Date Line, Mall Madness, and Pretty Pretty Princess when his chick logs on.

I had my minimap open and saw a green dot at the rear of the house. I had assumed it was his girl, and simply continue posting Google image links back and forth as the subject went from board games to fashion as he pasted links to pictures of tee slides and tight rolled jeans. In the midst of my hysterical laughter I was issued a warning "You have 15 seconds to leave". Oh you've got to be kidding, right? No. Within seconds I did the goofy 'omg I'm falling but can see the ground coming at me' animation and I was kicked off the land. My friend shouted a few LOLs and I assumed he did it. He didn't.

Shortly after a little 'lover's quarrel' started and I simply left. At first I laughed at how jealous the chick was. I mean seriously, I've been friends with the guy for almost two years and though they've been dating in SL for probably four months she's yet to meet me. I blame my +8 time difference, but whatever. Then I had gotten a bit bitter about the situation. Not because she cut short an entertaining conversation, but because I felt her tantrum was somehow a stab at my own relationship. Was she saying "Its not you I don't trust .. its her" or something like that? And if so? To that I say: ROFLPONY

Relationships in SL are a very delicate thing for a lot of people, I haven't figured out why. Even if you don't plan for your SL relationship to become a RL one - I really think that everything should be handled very similarly, if not the same. Even though relationships move and progress quite quickly in SL I still find that there are far too many elements which remain the same, yet always seem to be the same things that cause relationships to go bad time and time again. As I said, I'm definitely not an expert due to my single notch belt - but this could still easily be a guideline.

I know that lots of folks have relationships in SL even though they have a totally separate relationship IRL. Hey whatever you want to do - I really don't care. And as much as people say "SL is SL and RL is RL what happens in SL stays in SL" I'm pretty sure there will come a time when those lines get very fine and its hard to tell which is which. But that's really not my problem, nor is it any part of my actual point. I was merely sidetracked. Sorry.

Having a successful relationship in SL isn't all that difficult. One major thing is that you really do need separate friends. He needs his friends and you need yours. Sure its great when everyone gets along, and regardless of how many text hearts and 'lub yews' you say in a day there still needs to be some separation time. But when you've both got all the same friends, there's never an opportunity for that. On top of that, it makes things really difficult when you break up if you're friends with the dude and the chick.

You simply can't be drop-of-the-hat jealous. So you see your guy/girl talking to another avatar, so what? Just imagine all the avatars he could have in IM! *GASP* And think of what they could be saying! Oh Em Gee. Really? Knock it off already. You either trust your SL partner or you don't - and if you don't - time to start cutting some strings. Honestly, would you pull that shit on your GF/BF IRL? And now that the trust issue is brought up, that line of "I trust you, but I don't trust them" is just bullshit. Well if you trust your partner what are you freaking out about? You trust your partner, so that should be enough to say everything will be alright, but you don't trust them that's the kicker! You must have trust in a relationship.

I don't care if you're a shirtless Gorean leading a half naked woman with a bad weave around on a leash in a busy mall - you have to have respect in a relationship. And as people may bash the whole Gorean scene, they claim to have respect and honor for one another. Hey, whatever dude. You can't just treat people like shit plain and simple. You can't be some kind of unstable mental abuser type and expect to have a relationship in SL that's worth a damn! How do you know if you're one of those types? Well, do you put others on guilt trips frequently or do you scorn your partner for doing things which are harmless like shopping with friends? Are you controlling in some way be it location control, clothing control, friend's list? If any of those apply, well you've probably got at least a touch of abusive tendencies.

There comes a time in every life where someone needs time to themselves. This could be merely an hour, or it could be a few days, or hell a week or so. Expect to give and expect to be able to get this time alone even in your SL relationship. Its really tiring to spend every waking SL moment with only one person, which is why its good to have your own friends, the trust of your partner to hang out, and the respect that allows you to do so without question. If the love of your SL doesn't allow you any quiet time ... something is wrong. Its one thing to not WANT quiet time, its another to not be given it. I really do think its a good idea to spend at least a couple hours every other day away from your SL partner - even if all you're doing is building a prim text heart to give them.

Each person has their own taste in clothing, so please allow them to handle their own dress code. Buying gifts are one thing, but giving your partner a makeover just so you find them more pleasing is just overkill. You should always allow your partner the freedom to make their own decisions regarding anything which is part of their personality, and I feel clothes fall into this category. Don't try to change the things your dude/chick like, and definitely don't ridicule them for that stuff! Be supportive of your partner, regardless of the venture!

You've got to communicate. I know, you do nothing but communicate, right? Wrong. Don't just type 'lol' when something is really a 'wtf'. See even in SL there are mixed messages and broken lines of communication! Don't do that! When it comes to your partner say what you think/feel and get it out there. Its eventually gonna blow up anyway, but its best for that to not happen in the middle of a crowded club.

People with 'separate' SL lives remind me all the time about how their SL is separate and that's cool by me - but that doesn't mean that relationships should be handled any friggin differently than they would IRL. As a matter of fact, I've found the most successful ones are the ones in which the relationship either had intentions of being a real relationship, or was simply treated as one. I don't care if you exclusively role play and don't even know where your SL partner lives on the planet ... all these rules (and yes they are beyond just suggestions) still apply! If you're having relationship woes .. chances are you're leaving out one of these very basic steps. Please try again.

Its all about basic fundamentals. <3

AO-ver Done

In the world of SL creations - the AO (or Animation Overrider) is the most easily abused. Why? For one its nearly always on. The only time anyone says "ao off" is when they are about to do a different animation, such as dance. I would consider AOs a fairly new thing. Early '05 brought attention to the fact that "Hey this stand is fuckin lame!" as well as the laughable default run. So everyone rushed out to get their Wet Ikon in order to start lining up poses to cram the thing with.

At first they were all static poses, and though it was funny to watch someone switch from one pose to another with a swift jerky movement - it was better than standing with your fists in your hips. As most everyone knows, the freebie poses are awesomely bad but for the most part - that's all we had to work with. In mid/late 05 perhaps has late as early 06 ushered in the animated pose. Boy did we all flock like white trash to Hooters for those!

"These are great" I had thought when I purchased my first animated pose from a vendor at the old Naughty Designs store. I think I still use it, even! At any rate a few other folks jumped on the animated stand-wagon and it was almost fun to stand around with a big group in suspense "Ooooh what stand is SHE gonna do next?!?" though those days are long gone.

The poses had gone from jerking from pose to pose to the fluid movement of stands that no one would ever really do, to the new craze: realism. I'm all about bringing realism to SL in most cases ... but I swear to the stars if one more person does a thirty second stretch while I'm talking to them that I'm gonna choke a bitch. Seriously!

I have no idea who makes this ao animation/pose. I just know that they have clearly made a good amount of money off it. Everywhere I go there is at least one neko girl, white trash barbie, or girl with a weave that has it in their AO. Why? Isn't it considered rude to yawn while someone is talking? So when did it become socially acceptable? Did I miss something?!

You know the pose. They stand, pull their arms in close before straightening out their arms to their sides and slowly reach for the sky. The avatar momentarily stands there in their blissful "better than sex" stretch before their arms lower slowly and they put both hands on their love handles (or lack thereof), bringing the animation to an end. I had prepared a video demonstration, but got a bit over saturated with the animation between seeing it everywhere in SL as well as editing footage of it to make a video. I feel that's a bit unnecessary though, as I'm positive everyone knows the pose I'm talking about.

This sequence drives me absolutely bonkers. I can't stand to look at it! When someone is stretching like that it makes me want to pull out a dropkick animation. Stop doing that while I'm talking to you! I could totally see it being used in a gesture or something of that nature .. but in an AO?! Please.

If your SL is so boring that you need an animation to convey that you're tired, bored, unenthused etc ... you need to go hang in a sandbox. What's worse is there are different variations of this same pose floating around. Evidently its the 'thing' to have because I see so many with their AOs just stretching away ... but I personally don't see the appeal. Again it goes back to the 'rude' factor. No, I don't claim to be a socialite or even be able to hold a steady conversation without dumping the clutch and switching the gears to something random ... but don't friggin' yawn and stretch while we're talking! Even if you are legitimately interested in what I'm saying ... your AO says otherwise.

Seriously? I'm all for AOs conveying your mood. By all means switch your poses up as often as you feel necessary .. but save the yawns, stretches, ass scratching and nut adjusting for your poseballs at your house. For conversational purposes, pack your AO with interesting poses that are aesthetically pleasing or at least mildly entertaining. And who said you couldn't put a dance animation in an AO?! Do it! Be free!

Maybe I just take my typing conversations a bit too seriously - and I know in the world of IMs and voice chat that most likely the person I'm talking to has gotten distracted at more than one turn in the road ... but don't remind me of that by yawning and/or stretching for half a damn minute!

Good Looks are a Slider Away

Good looks in SL are common. Actually its a bit hard to actually have an ugly avatar unless you start going all psycho on the sliders that make your shape.

Even though there are a lot of handsome and pretty avatars, there are the borderline ones, and of course the "WTF Do you not ever look at yourself" ones. Each avatar's appearance is as different as the person controlling it - but I've noticed that some features are more widespread than others.

Lips are typically large in most female avatars. Is this really a trait of beauty? My avatar doesn't have pencil thin lips - but there are a lot of shapes roaming around the grid that look like they've been taking tequila shots all night. Pouty lips are one thing .. but these are ginormous.

Eyes seem to come in two variations: there's the "SURPRISE" and the "Damn the sun is bright today". That's it. You've either got these huge open eyes or they are really squinted. Of course I am basing all this on majority and not any one person in particular. Males seem to have a better handle on the eye situation, though.

And as much as I hate to go into it, boobs. Darlings there is a such thing as gravity, and wouldn't you know it they put that slider into the boob option in SL. Why does no one use it?! I see so many chicks roaming around with a friggin shelf for cleavage and its so horrid. I mean the armpit area of your shirts should not be crinkled - and even when you add gravity to your ta-tas most of the time skin makers will shade in cleavage so that you still have that 'shelf' look even after you've obeyed the laws of physics.

Legs anyone? Yeah stop running around like a stork in hooker heels and get a bit of perception of proportion when it comes to legs to body ratio! I just can't stress that enough. I get accused of being 'short' all the time - even though my avatar is about 5'5". I am NOT the short one, people! You're just too damn tall for your own good with your 6' legs! You aren't related to Wonder Woman so you aren't from Amazonia .. stop making your shape say otherwise!

There are plenty of other body parts yet to go. Hips are a delicate subject. I was once a victim of being under the influence of the prim skirt. There is no universal size for building prim skirts and therefore so many have opted to have waif thin Kate Moss avs just so they can wear that brand new skirt put out by InsertDesigner Here. Girls its not true! I can guarantee that if some of you models were to give yourselves some curves that designers would re-think their products and product proportions. There are plus size women IRL - and also in SL.

Speaking of models ... what exactly makes someone a model in SL? I've never been one, and I can't say I even know one but I see a lot of profiles that say "model". Is it their face, their body shape, the skins they wear to make their face look better? And in a world where good looks are only a slider click away .. why isn't everyone a model? Better yet why are there so many similarities in so many avatars if they are 'infinitely customizable' (and I refer mostly to shape)? What exactly defines beauty in a virtual world where the meaning of the word could be twisted shaped and molded into anything? Well I'll tell ya - its a bunch of people who all have similar traits but different flavors. Like ice cream! You know what ice cream is - and what it looks like but it just comes with slight alterations .. overall its all the same.

Because of all those 'problems' some people are totally bankin' off selling premade shapes. Why!? Its so friggin' easy to just move a couple sliders around yet people are going to spend more on a shape than they would a badass hairstyle. And those premade shapes rarely seem worth it to me .. one you normally can't modify them so if you want to just change how big your nose is .. too damn bad. Two - the fact of knowing that there is another chick out traipsing the grid that looks exactly like me is enough to make me want to NEVER buy a pre made shape.

Once upon a time folks used to hold building classes in SL - and I'm starting to ask myself if someone should host shape making classes. I guess I'm just against conventional beauty :/ Any thoughts?

Oh NO She Di'in! Girl got herself a WEAVE!

Flexi prims changed the look of fashion in SL bigtime. This is especially true in the hair department where it has become almost imperative that designers slap a few waving strands into their 'dos. As with nearly everything in life - even good things should be done sparingly. However, I have found at least one that has gone above and beyond the call, and not in a good way ladies and gentlemen.

While roaming around random sims looking for spontaneous entertainment I stumbled upon what I thought (past tense) was a cute ponytail. Mistakenly I made my judgement before she turned around. My eyes widened a bit as her hair trailed behind her like a wounded boa constrictor. I can't be seeing this. Is that ... is that a WEAVE?!



The prim work on the bangs and hair itself was normal - and I actually found the bangs to be attractive - but the back. Oh god the back was just a train wreck, and with all horrible accidents you simply have to sit back and watch. I did.

It seems the shiteous weave is making an appearance in a huge way in SL. Why? Why and who finds this appealing? I understand that its unique (to an extent) but it doesn't even look good! Okay so the idea itself isn't new. I mean ... over a year ago Nylon Pinkney (why does my "Curly by Nylon (geek) hair say Nylon Partridge?!) put out the first real '2D' curly 'do. And? And it was kind of hard to adjust to - but it was funky and well done .. just like the rest of Nylon's creations. It had a wang to it, but it wasn't hard to swallow. This though .. this is just .. well .. weave-tacular.


I didn't even bother trying to photoshop these pictures. I was going to, but thought why sugar coat it any? As I look at these pictures I'm still whispering "Why? Why would anyone ..." I don't have an answer. I do know that this stuff is great just for laughs and to see just how much you can lag out your friends with crappy computers.

The appeal of super long hair in SL had previously seemed rare. Yeah there were a few stints of really long hair - and every so often a designer will release a Crystal Gale 'do as either a joke or just for something new, hell or maybe even to laugh at themselves! Don't get me wrong, though. I'm a huge fan of eccentric hair. I still have my old "Poke Your Eye Out" hair by Helyanwe in my inventory that I like to whip out. I even slap on an old Treebee wig from time to time ... but this isn't funny!

Gorean girls everywhere are probably singing the praises of this hair (which is a majority of what was surrounding me in the shop) even though the alphas of their 1972 I Got You Babe Cher hair totally clash with the alphas and flexis of their barely there 'silk' skirt ... things. Unless you're a comedian .. or Gorean .. or a Crystal Gale fan .. I don't see the appeal of this hair at all. It looks like a bad weave!

The prim work on most the hair is good! They started out as decent styles until .. oh lord .. those stringy bits were added. Why?! Why did you ruin good hair?! Even your textures were good! Granted not all the hair there was a poster child for Pimp My Weave ... some of it was pretty decent (the men's hair was probably best) but coming in at nothing under 194 prims this hair just wasn't worth it. Not to me, at least.



Judge for yourselves. But if your friends have a weave ... please please seek help. There are so many good hairstyles out there that they don't have to turn down Route Godiva, okay? And if they still want to ... try to find some that doesn't actually look like a damn weave!

Mood Makers or Mood Breakers?

Sometimes its nice to sit somewhere in SL where the crickets sign softly while the particle fireflies make patterned circles about your head without worries of snorting one up your nose. Maybe you prefer to take your ambiance alone, or perhaps with a friend or partner - however you want it - its available in numerous sims.

I love scenery. I like land that's actually landscaped and not just flat and green. The builders/estate owners that have gone the extra step to add their own texture to the ground get a big thumbs up from me. I like to hop from pose ball to pose ball in the gazebos that seem to be plentiful waterfronts ... but I confess I have to do all this with the sounds off.

Think of all the random background .wav files that are slapped into objects. Earlier I stood next to an 8' tall waterfall (approximately) and it sounded like an A-10 was taking off near my head. And I *know* what an A-10 sounds like taking off, people!

I understand that these things aren't silent in the real world. In fact many waterfalls are so loud and have so much force that they nearly knock you over. However, the small ones in which I am referring should not be that loud. It seems you get one of two sounds in the "Waterfall o' Doom" so your choices are limited. You get the "A-10 Taking off in your face" or the "Beer Piss". Its either loud and roaring, or just an annoying trickle. W T F

It doesn't stop there, though. That horrible HOWWLLLL that we all probably have somewhere in our gesture cache is also a 'background' noise. Why on earth anyone with a beach house would feel the need to have a random "HoWwwwLLLLlll" going off every few minutes is beyond me .. but I tell you the truth. So now you have a fighter jet, drunk hobo, and a cartoon wolf all within earshot. Oh, but it gets better.

I've noticed that many sounds have been 'remixed' in that they aren't the exact sounds in every object that is similar. Does someone sell 'annoying background loops' on SLexchange? And if they do - why has no one made some that involved more variety in the sounds? On any given summer night I can open a window and hear many of these sounds - except the waterfall - and there is no pattern to these sounds. The sounds in SL are more of a drone than anything.

White noise schmight noise - how do these sounds create a mood at all? I know it would probably be really boring to build a great waterfall and have no sound in it ... but to me its worse to have a beautiful waterfall or lagoon with frogs that croak with a sonic boom or if your waterfall sounds like the rumble of train tracks.

So do these loops help set a mood, or do they break them? Well if used correctly I could see how they could help enhance the visuals, but it seems so rare that the sounds are used in this way. There are so many sounds that just aren't a part of SL that maybe should be. Like doorbells. I know its pretty pointless to have a doorbell or even doorbell sound in sl (other than the ding ding you get when you get an IM) but wouldn't it be great if we could modify our SLounds? Instead of the default ding ding if it were to make a different sound. Man something, ANYTHING to kind of switch it up!

I'd like to know just how many people actually turn their ambient and sound features way down or even off in order to escape the ear drum barrage that's included in so many builds. Better yet - if LL insists on giving us options that no one really wants until everything else is more stable - why don't they offer more customizable UIs? Why can't we change the sound of our IM notification? Why can't we change the 'clunk' that we hear when we right click an object?

It just feels as if the sound loops are overdone - or maybe they aren't done enough since (as far as I know) no one has taken steps to remake any or better them in some way. I do know that I've had quite enough of ponds that sound like flushing toilets, splashy pool water that sounds like a killer whale is doing a belly flop, howling, owls louder than cars ... the list could go on and on.

Is this a new form of metaversal sound pollution or do I just have over sensitive ears?

Wanna Come to My Shop lol!11!

These days its getting more and more rare that I go out shopping for things that I don't already plan on buying. With the influx of more fashion blogs than you can shake a prim at, I don't even have to log in to know if I want to buy anything. Today though was a rare exception.

For months now I've been wearing the same skin. I can't help it, its the best colored skin I've seen in SL and until Naughty Designs puts out a purple skin that I simply must have, I refuse to take it off! Anyway - so I got a wild hair and thought I'd go skin browsing. I had a few extra Lindens so why not? I was loading up with demos when a guy walks up and strikes up a conversation. I'm not a total bitch so I say hi back.

Meet Random Guy:



Random Guy: Hello there. I see you like boots and clothes.

Me: Hi. And yes, I do for the most part.

Random Guy: I have a shop you would like. And there are lots of purple items

(see now he's toying with me. I normally don't pay attention to advertisements while I'm already shopping somewhere I like .. but he said "purple")

Me: Is that so?

Random Guy: Yes. I will give you a landmark, ok?

Me: Alright. I'll drop in and check it out when I'm finished here.

Random Guy: Sounds good! Do you wear jewelry at all?

Me: The tiny bit of jewelry I wear is either made by a friend of mine - or a few cute accessories here and there like the baby seal ring I have on.

Random Guy: Ok. There is jewelry there too - but I think you would be most interested in the boots.

Random Guy: Bling on.

(see right here I should have turned and ran - but I didn't. Why?! Why didn't I just go about my shopping?!)

Me: Tell me there aren't bling scripts in the boots.

Random Guy: No, they don't bling.

So I go to the shop, only to find out that he's promoting his partner's things. Not a huge shocker, but I really should have paid more attention to his profile. For one he's only about 4 months into SL. At any rate against my better judgement I teleported to the landmark he gave me. I didn't even have to wait for everything to rez to know that this was not my kind of shop. Who's kind of shop is it? Well its the kind of shop that most of us opened up when we first learned how to do anything and all our friends were like "omg that's so awesome" when it probably really wasn't (god I was such a victim of that).

I have titled this picture "Go to Jail - Go Directly to Jail - Do NOT Pass Go!" Anyway - that was one of the outfits there - but the rest looked a lot like it. Once I saw that outfit I said to myself 'Ahh they're just starting out with designing' but then he made a fatal mistake:

Random Guy: So what do you think?

Me: You want an honest answer - cuz if you ask me that .. that's what you're going to get.

Random Guy: Of course I want honesty!

Me: Well for one if you are going to advertise your store to people who are already shopping in a kick ass store - be sure the stuff you are taking their attention from is better than what they are looking at.

Random Guy: I see. Anything else?

Me: I mean, its not a bad start - I think everyone started out the same way if they didn't know anything so just keep practicing :D I'm sure there are plenty of people who would buy these things because they are cheap - but they are definitely not my cup of tea.

Random Guy: and for boots?

Random Guy: didn't you like the effect?

Me: Well the texture rotation script is really unnecessary. Even if you have an 'off' option the script is still running while the boot is attached. I see boots with that same type of style all the time and that's not really my bag either. I just think they are over the top. I mean twisty turny lightening bolts? Why not spend the time it took to drop in a texture and a script in photoshop and make a good detailed, shaded texture to put ON the boots so folks will buy them for more than just to laugh at while at some color event?

Random Guy: ok thanks

Random Guy: bye bye

Random Guy: i hope you don't want burn my shop

Random Guy: lololol

Random Guy: thanks for coming

Random Guy: lolol

Me: You did ask for my honest opinion. I would seriously not advertise a store inside a store that has awesome stuff unless you really think your stuff is better. I mean .. c'mon.

Random Guy: I understand. Good thing my stuff is better.

Me: Are you serious?! Your stuff is better than the stuff at Naughty Designs ... oookay.



-- He didn't answer.

This experience only lead to the support of my original policy "When shopping in a store you like - don't talk to strangers." And especially strangers who's first few words are "Bling On."

Advertising Diarrhea

The Voice Of ...

About a year ago Callie Cline was given the title of "Voice of Women". That's good, I just asked then as I as now - "What women?!" I know it isn't me, and most likely not any woman I know. And what does this voice say? Well its just not in my job description to sling quotes about. I will say that I've been less than impressed with the voice of women and that's probably because that voice didn't say a single thing that my voice would have said.

The ideal of women and cars is not new. As a matter of fact car mags have been slapping nearly nude women alongside pinstriped hot rods for years. Hell my first boyfriend and his friends used to buy Lowrider magazine just because the chicks wore more skimpy bathing suits. I know the mechanics behind it. Pun intended, by the way.

OMG did you Farce?

If you get a SL gig with a RL company - kudos. You've reached status quo - but when you get advertising diarrhea it really makes my ass burn after a while. Not to mention the fact that I'm running out of toilet paper so I've had to smear my shit here. There is a rather bold line in the world of grease monkeys and mechanics between a car enthusiast and a mere fan. I won't go pasting in dictionary definitions as I'm sure most know the difference. Car enthusiasts are the ones that really love cars - or a specific car. John Travolta is a car enthusiast (as well as planes), the writers for Car and Driver are enthusiasts, and mechanics as a whole are most usually enthusiasts as well. Callie, I'm afraid - is a mere fan.

The Thin Red Pinstripe

She states in her blog that the Solstic is a great car in RL and in SL. Her reason why its a better car IRL? Simply because its really fast. It goes to prove that you don't have to be knowledgeable about a product in order to be its spokesperson. It goes back to that whole 'ideal' I've been against since I was probably 11 "Stand there, look pretty, don't say much, and smile a lot." Its actually laughable. The Motorati thing started over a year ago - yet she was surprised that they chose her? Seems like advanced marketing for outsourcing if you ask me. She was definitely thinking ahead which is great! I'd love to have that kind of insight - but don't try to pass it off as coincidence.

Recognisable Faces

After conferring with fellow Mean Girls JellyBean and Rosie we came to the conclusion that the Maxim thing was because of Callie's recognizable face. That's very true. Her face is recognisable (then again I've been seeing it here and there for going on 3 years) but isn't it also true to say that any face you see repeatedly over a long period of time becomes recognisable? YadNi has a recognisable face - so why couldn't he throw on a female av and do such a thing? Maybe he could!

Objects may appear closer than they are

I personally just feel that the whole caLLie coNUNdrum has already been played out. Everyone's all freaking out that she's getting 'attacked' but how is stating an opinion an attack? Its anonymous comments - not a boot to the face. And seriously it isn't as if a few negative opinions really make or break a business deal unless those with the neg views are consultants.

We should all let her ride her train to fame for as long as her ticket is good for. And in SL (as I've already said) days are only hours long - and stuff like this lasts just as long. I would like to suggest though that if you're going to get someone to speak for your product who has any sort of influence at all: just be sure they know about it. I can safely say that if Mountain Dew came to SL and offered me to do something for them - I'd decline and send them to JellyBean. She's a friggin' authority on Dew. As a general rule, know your limits and there's nothing wrong with taking a back seat and merely knowing that by passing things up for the RIGHT reasons that you're doing something good as a whole.


Clutch Grinding


I've just been smelling burning clutch over the fact that once again things have come to who you know and not what you know. As a gear headed grease monkey I've just failed to see the appeal of having someone who makes clothes be any sort of figure head for a car. She sat on a few cars and make a few racing suits, I get it. But couldn't someone who used to or still .. oh I don't know .. build cars, race cars or know how to use a cherry picker actually get the kind of gig they deserve? I realize its a lot to ask of any company - doing all that hard research and all - but come on! I really just can't take Pontiac seriously (and I went through a lot of trouble to drop a 455 into a two bolt main 76 Camaro) after all this. All I can really say is "Meh".

*wipes her hands and wrench on a dirty rag and shoves it in her back pocket* Looks like your diesel engine needs new spark plugs.