Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Secrets to a Mantourage - Getting Started

Now that I am SL single, this post goes up. Wuwu! It was long overdue.

A wha wha what!?!
Funny how the word "mantourage" has taken it's place in casual conversation. "Hey wanna join me at Club So-n-So, you can bring your mantourage."
If a girl has a lot of male friends, well this must be her mantourage. Simply defined by a "male-following". In the past such girls were considered sluts, or politically corrected - vaginal engineers. No longer true in the case of today's mantourage. The truth is the biggest difference between a slut & the mantourage is that sluts put out. A girl with a mantourage knows how to keep the guys interested without ever losing an article of clothing or wrapping her mouth around Mr. Winky.

How to:
Building your mantourage isn't as hard as you think. Just be sincere, and a little less self-centered. It's okay, I know it's kinda tough, we're bitches. Be nice, flirty, say cutesy things like "oh gosh, jinkies, giggles" a lot, listen to them talk (yes, even about sports), laugh at their jokes and try to be generally interested in the same things that interest him/them. You never know, you could learn something new & actually find out that there is more to slife than shopping. Be open & honest... this is very important. Never make them think you want more than you really do. To have a nicely structured mantourage you must be comfortable enough to say that there are others, he is not a one man mantourage. It doesn't work that way. That's called "dating". Which is completely different than a mantourage. Also these males have to be comfy too... and not have hostile bitches looking to plant land mines on your parcel. Part of the mantourage IS sharing with other like stable individuals. Be yourself, and you will be adored.

Keep them Happy:
Be selective on who you consider as part of your mantourage. In order to keep anyone happy, you need to be happy yourself. You don't need to invite drama, bi-polar polar bears, jealousy, drooly horndogs with walking hard-ons (oh that made me quiver) or crazy stalkers into your selected mantourage. The selection should be truly who you consider friends, good ones. In fact, it's probably best to only have a public mantourage while you are sitting pretty as a single status'd av.

Chances are you already have a mantourage or you are a guy that is part of one and you just didn't know it had a name. In any case... this has been yet another public service announcement and DIY from JellyBean Madison, fighting the good fight for a less ignorant SL.

Coming soon: Secrets to a Mantourage - A Guy's Perspective


Billy HIcks said...

I love it! Great article! So that's what it's called :0

Tiana Meriman said...

lol great post, i can hear all the guys gasping when they realise they are part of a mantourage

Wrath said...

Mean? Bitchy? Catty? Coldhearted? Some other c-word?

Are these some of the words used to describe you in the past?

Ask yourself:

• Ladies, do you need help building your mantourage?
• Want to appear popular and virginal at the same time?
• Do you want all your friends to wish they had male friends like you have?

Perhaps I can help. Introducing Wrath Paine's
Mantourage Services
®. *Not available in all areas, certain restrictions may apply, see disclaimer below.

Yes, I can help make you look popular, and almost friendly, even!

What you can expect, for absolutely free:

Someone who is:
- Now over 60 days old - almost not a n00b!
- Drama free zone since Feb 2007
- SL Single with no desire to date - ever
- Won't have to discuss sports, politics, religion, RL, geometry or foot fungus

Bonus plan, for the additional cost of nothing:
- Can pretend to be any of the following:
: intelligent
: attentive
: well-mannered
: funny
: neutered
: interested
: non-threatening
: awake

- Excellent references available upon request! (Some of them not completely fake!)

WARNING: Be responsible! Do not fall for anyone in your mantourage. This voids all contracts and warranties. Management is not liable for broken hearts or, more likely, further tarnished reputations.

The fine print:
This service is as of yet still untested and may not actually work as planned. Offer limited to the first 125 applicants only. Will not be included in any mantourage with 50+ members. heh I said member. And that's what I actually meant, weird.

* Will never ever dress up as a clown, or model your flexi silks for you. Again.

♥ JellyBean ♥ said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Wrath you need help! Seriously this is why I adore you. Never get help though, they'll just break you, and you are hilarious the way you are. :D

Akasha =^.^= said...

Ok seriously I don't comment here ever, well mayhaps once, but omfg Foot Fungus... Love it!

Nex Brannan said...

I should be in a mantourage, cause I'm so mantastic!

♥ JellyBean ♥ said...

HAHAHAHAHA @ Mantastic! Ooo that so tickled me! Haha!

Ana Lutetia said...

Excellent post!

BTW, (here) it's not weird that a girl has a lot of male friends, only friends. Mantourage could be also colourful friends. ;)

And if a girl is really intelligent, attentive, well-mannered, funny, neutered, interested, non-threatening and awake? Will that difficult getting a mantourage? (Just wondering...)
But... where are the cute guys to talk to...? LOL

Veyron Supercharge said...

So, how do you manage time with a large mantourage? Do you get them together in a group and hold an audience? Or just go through more sleep deprivation?

vint said...

LMAO. Awesome post! I think I want to hire the neutered Wrath. Does he comes with neko ears? :d

Wrath said...

Yeah, oddly enough Vint - still available. Can you believe that? Not one phone call asking for a consultation for my services. Heck, I'd even promise to include the one and only Alexander Burgess in your new mantourage if you sign up today! (But don't say anything to him, because I haven't like officially mentioned it to him yet)

I'll tell you what, you want to be the first client, just when you thought my rates couldn't get any lower than free, I'll cut them in half, just for you! Although I can promise you already I just know I'd look downright silly in Neko ears, sorry. :-(

vint falken said...

Consider the both of you hired. =d

Alex Burgess said...

And he still hasn't mentioned it to me, despite the two hours we spent not discussing business and entertaining four foxes (god, I love 70s lingo) yesterday. What did you get me into, Wrath? *glares* And remember that other thing we were discussing? You get to be the target first.