Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Dear Rosie... Signed Drowning In Attention and More

Dear Rosie,

I like attention, I've always craved it. Yet, lately I feel that people are making too much of a big-to-do over me. I'm not talented, famous, or made any huge mark on SLociety. I am just me, and don't claim to be more than I am. Should I just accept this attention for what it is now? Or should I ask for some space?
Yours Truly... Drowning in Attention

Dear Drowning,

What needy, emotionally-malnourished, party-guy (or girl) doesn’t crave attention? I say: Attention… have at it! If it’s that people are making a big to-do over you, well then welcome that. Perhaps you’re someone who is worthy of the limelight. If people are expecting things of you that you feel are unfair or even intrusive, then step back. Alting can be a fun and stress free pursuit when that star shines too bright. Remember that the next time you want to be up front and honest with those around you. Food for thought

Rosie

Dear Rosie-
I am so excited to hear that you are back! Welcome back! At first I was mad at you for leaving me to solve my issues on my own. I'm okay now, the judge says I'm up for probation soon.
Signed,
Out in 3

Dear Out in 3,

My lawyer says I should return your mail unopened. Thanks for the support.

Rosie

Dear Rosie,

Long time reader first time poster. I recently found out that a person who murdered my family is going to be released soon. I don't think that 3 years was a long enough sentence and I feel that I should take the law in my own hands. Sometimes if you want something done right you need to do it yourself. What do you think of my situation?
Thank you for your time

Dear Anonymous,

You are absolutely right. Sometimes if you want something done right you must do it yourself. Take that last letter I answered. A real go-getter. Saw something that needed to be done and acted on it! I say be brave. Take that step to fix what’s broken and you’ll find reward and satisfaction in the task being completed.

Rosie

Dear Rosie,
I have no problems at all. That must be a problem, no? And if it's not, could you fix me up with one? O, and does JellyBean count as one?
Mr. Perfection

Dear Mr. Perfriggenfection,

I could fix you up with many… I have a buttload of em. But, yes, JellyBean does count as one. How complicated it must be being you. Fight the good fight!

Rosie

Dear Rosie.
I hurt someone badly. Not physically but emotionally. I feel horrible about it & I have pushed him to get back with his estranged girlfriend. Even though I said for him to give it another go many times, I found it too hard to watch today. Should I disappear from the familiar places that we use to share? Should I attempt to ignore seeing them together? Or should I just become a social hermit? Please help me.
Broken-Hearted Heart-Breaker

Dear Breaker of stuff,

Aww emo kid don’t cry. Are you sad really for what you feel you must witness or is it sympathy pains for his estranged ex? Are you excited about the prospect that it will make him happy to know that it’s uncomfy for you to see them together? Live larger than slife and don’t be swayed or distracted from your goals. And remember one day soon, again, she will be finding it hard to visit those old familiar faces and watch him with another her.

Rosie

Dear Rosie,
Dude, check this out aight. There is this girl that I like to get drunk. Shhhh(up) it isn't that bad. I like having sex with her. It's aight if we don't but its great when we do. Did I say great??? I MEAN AMAZING!!! She's a screamer and to hear her belt out in ecstasy is like a Prince concert. Music to my ears and it gets me so hot. I think we might have better sex when she is sober but I think she'd say no. What should I do?
Walking HardOn

Dear Hard,

Good times. You’re asking the question… looking for the right answer, but if you dig deep enough inside yourself I think you’ll find you have all the answers you need! Continue to find ways to get her drunk, of course. Bottoms Up!

Rosie

Dear Rosie,

I am writing to you as my last hope.

I have met this wonderful woman. She is hotter than the Sahara, makes me sweatier than the rain forests, more breathless than the top of Mt Everest, and gives me more chills than Antarctica. But she doesn't even know I exist and she is already taken by another. How can I compete against someone who has all the looks, the taste, the talent? She rushes right past me when I am there. her gaze always slides past me to something beyond. Nothing I can do will change it. What can I do against the DEW?

Help me Rosie Shark-Cozie. You are my only hope.

Signed, Fizzled and flat

Dear Fizzled,

What can anyone do against the DEW?! We’re all just hapless victims to it’s guile and charm. The truth of the matter is you wonder about this rockstar who is riveting the attention of your true love. Be yourself. No amount of talent, taste, linden, and the ability to tweak a shape can compete with honesty and the power of saying something that will make her jaw drop. Make a stand! Declare your feelings for the world to see and watch in wonder as the pieces fall where they may. Happy Hunting!

Rosie


A questionable advice column shrouded in mystery. Did the letters write themselves? Is it really riddled with inside jokes and venting that is cloaked behind fake anon names and trumped up emotional and romantical problems? I reply randomly and usually far after the requested advice is needed. My procrastination schedule is a busy one! On sale soon is the Dear Rosie Decoder Ring (available at pink). One ring to rule them all! Some content may not be suitable for all readers… if in serious emotional distress call someone who is a trained professional, not someone who just plays one in sl. You can play along at home by writing to rowanpsp@yahoo.com or replying here in the comments section. Be sure that I will take all the time and care I need to answer your letters when I feel like it.

5 comments:

tiana meriman said...

lol that was too funny and for some reason i am so glad i dont know none of these people. talk about useless drama XD

Posy Trudeau said...

Yay Rosie! That's one of the most entertaining blog entries I've read in a long time :D

♥ JellyBean Madison ♥ said...

YAY!!! I'm so glad you posted these over here. What was it? Why waste your talent on your own blog? ROFL just kidding :p

Anonymous said...

Dear Rosie,
I am currently back into the single in SL game. I'm scared to get back into any kind of relationship because most turn out crazy. Are there really sane men in SL?

No Touchy!

Anonymous said...

Dear Rosie-
I just read JB's post about the mentourage. Do you have any advice on where I find men willing to be in my mentourage? I don't have to put out right? You guys are experts. Thank God for MGG2SL!

Seeking Mentourage-