Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Oh Baby, Baby How was I Supposed to Know?


Picture it...

You've gotten hitched to the perfect spouse in SL, and you both decide to have a cute little prim baby to hug, and pet and squeeze and call George (or Georgina). So you go and pick out a "belly" to wear and enjoy the beautiful process of your little junior growing inside your pixelated womb.

While wearing your little bundle of joy in public, suddenly you see some green text on your screen:

Your babies are unsettled. Please rub your belly.

WHAT?!?!?!

Why do you need to be reminded on not only your screen but everyone else's screen in the immediate vicinity that your belly needs to be rubbed? Minutes go by and you'll be told you need to take your vitamins, that your nails are healthy from taking them, and that you're happy to have the babies inside.

That's great for your wellbeing and all, but everyone else in the fashion boutique you're in (and most likely has clothes that won't fit your glowing self anyways) shouldn't have to hear that your babies are hungry and need you to eat something.

I haven't checked into who originally wrote this script to spam our screens with this prenatal babble. Probably a man since any woman who's ever been pregnant in RL would have text about morning sickness, swelled ankles, and peeing all the darn time.

Please keep in mind that I have nothing against the miracle of conception and feeling a life growing slowly inside of you. In fact it can be a very enlightening (and life changing) experience for most if not all women. I also understand that some women cannot have children in RL so have chosen to experience it in SL. That's perfectly your business and your right.

The rest of us just don't need to experience it with you.

10 comments:

Esteban said...

Should you really be smoking?

Kitty Lalonde said...

Or fucking dogs?

*points to the dog from Dark Delights*

Bibe Mayo-Voight said...

The belly is one thing (I turn mine so only I can hear it in public-) but at home or with friends I just let it happen, it's a process my friends seem to be into- but strangers didn't sign up for it... lol, I did. No one needs to know that my wee bean is pushing up against my bladder causing me discomfort! lol...
I do however, really enjoy it. I hope this isn't considered spamming but if you look at my blog I wrote about the experience... ( http://lagalicious.blogspot.com/2008/01/and-prim-baby-makes-three.html)
Thanks for bringing this up... What's next? A whispering placenta?
::::ewwwww::::

chestnut rau said...

lmao...i totally agree the text was written by someone who *never* experienced pregnancy.

i never attended an sl birth but i wonder what the text for that is like? "you push the baby out into the world, delighted at your womanly powers" instead of "who is the mf who did this to me? i'll cut his balls off with a dull rusty knife, right here, right now!"

♪ Guenevere ♪ said...

The outfit I'm wearing in the first picture is the Trailer Trash Girl from 'Weird Shit'. The dog came with the trailer (as did the dude sitting behind me). I didn't have relations with the dog, but I did have relations with the dude. ;-)

@ Bibe - Thanks for the link! I'm heading over to read it right now!

@ chestnut - I know, right? ;-)

Tymmerie Thorne said...

Very funny article! Great pic!!
I have links to two machinimas of SL births here: http://girlwonderspeaks.blogspot.com/2008/01/knocked-up-while-grid-is-down.html if you are curious. And yes - it is all sweetness and light. Bleh.

Tiessa said...

@Bibe: I don't think it would be a talking placenta, but a talking biological clock.

*Tick* You aren't getting any younger...

*Tick* Is that career *really* worth it?

Every time you see a good-looking avatar and just want to have a meaningless relationship:
*Tick* Sure he's a stud, but would he make a good father?

And every time you get near a prim baby:
*Tick* Isn't that baby *so* cute? Don't you wish you had one like that?

Kitty Lalonde said...

Actually I have to mention that there is already a biological clock in SL. It's made my Fade Dana and can be found at her D3volution shop.

*wonders if she'll get paid for the shameless plug*

Dorra Debs said...

I mute all talking body parts!

At the Last Call sale there was someone with a baby/belly (whatever you want to call them). When I said something in group chat that I had muted it she was totaly offended.

Chardonnay said...

Amen to that post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!