Saturday, January 12, 2008

Blingtards: Stop the Insanity!!!

Yeah, I know... this phenomenon is nothing new.

In fact we have a whole Flickr folder devoted to these misguided individuals. (Scroll down if ya wanna see some of the newer additions). The reason I'm writing this post is because apparently this is more widespread than originally thought. Just this evening, I happened to run into Three blingtards who managed to congregate where I was DJing at. Even more ironic, each fit into three separate categories of blingtardom, which I will explain here:

Hip Hop Bling


Yes we've all seen it. The bigass chains that IRL would make your whole body fall over with their weight. Whether necklaces or bracelets, these things are often seen on rapper wannabes and newbies who think that all that sparkle is bitchin' and supah fly. Well I'm here to set it to ya straight, folks. It's not cool... it's -tacky-, trust me. When we can't see your face past the incandescence of your accessories, we got a problem.

Armor Bling


There's nothing wrong with blowing up things. In fact we encourage it on video games to relieve stress. We do not encourage, however, having on armor that makes you burn like a Roman candle on the battle field. Isn't part of the point that you're supposed to blend in with your surroundings? No chance of that here. Lest we forget that he not only has the bling, but also the BFG's hanging from his arms that are bigger than his entire body and a pair of hunting daggers that would make Crocodile Dundee shit his breeches. Do us all a favor and go play Halo 3, k?

Girly Bling

Blingtards are not only a male problem, oh no! We have plenty of ladies who seem to have fallen under the same affliction.


This tends to constitute various articles of jewelry and shoes that female avatars wear to get attention, but wearing too much will garner the wrong kind of attention. Nothing says cheap whore like 1000 points of light... on your personage. If you -have- to wear blingy stuff, wear only one type at a time, and make sure the intensity isn't so bad that folks have to wear SPF 50 to come near you.

And remember ladies & gentleman... 'bling off' isn't just an option, it's a public service.

11 comments:

Rykk Ferraris said...

LMAO!!! So true, so true!!!

Shenandoah Saintlouis said...

Amen

Cierra Theriac said...

Just say no!

♥ JellyBean Madison ♥ said...

"And remember ladies & gentleman... 'bling off' isn't just an option, it's a public service."

Farking Fabulous! Kudos Guen! :D

The Diva said...

Thank you! *blows kisses*

Rosie Barthelmess said...

Amen, sister! Good grief, this should be part of the New Resident Handbook.

myg said...

well put Guen! my god wait til you meet our new neighbors in Topgol. HOLY SHIT! you'll loooovveee them!

Garrett Larkham said...

Yep..gotta agree with you there, Guen. I dropped my freebie sliver blingwatch a looong time ago.

Lizbeth Saenz said...

Your words might fall on death ears because your readers are fabulous ones. Definitely not the kind that would wear bling in the first place. ;)

*sighs* I suppose when we do see some peeps wearing bling, we could copy and paste the link on the chat. *shrugs*

Either way, hoorah for the article.

Connie in a Sec said...

Please oh yes please kill the bling...hey lets start a Jira survey and get lindens to ban it..or like lights..no more than 6 within 10Mtrs..waddayasay girls?

Harper Ganesvoort said...

A little bling is okay; I have a few dresses and pairs of shows with some gentle, occasional flash. Those folks -- not.