It's a nice day for a white wedding.

Or.Not.
So you've met Mr. Right (now) and decided to give up your nights of playing cum dumpster to the internet's most sleazy pay-per-half hour clients. Mr. Payment-info-on-file has fallen into your able clutches and you've got him right where you want him; wrapped around your ring finger. Felicitations on your grand match. So – where do you start?

The colors, the dress, shoes, and hair.. the venue, DJ, cake, invitations... and let's not forget the photography to commemorate this glorious joining of pixels and send by the folder-load to your unsuspecting acquaintances! (I didn't show up for a reason, people. I do not want to see the stupid pictures.) There's so much to do and so few well-organized resources.

For a busy girl like me, planning a wedding myself is just too much to ask. (Seriously, I wear like so many hats it's starting to crush my big pornstar-Texan curls.) So, I pull up the search and start looking for a wedding planner. I see a few entries and send them IMs. Now, I assume that these IMs got lost in a void somewhere because of the million I sent I got ONE response. This wouldn't have been so bad if this planner was competent at all.

People, seriously, being able to use the 'search' function does not make you a wedding planner.

I don't mean to be a Bridezilla, but there are a few things I am looking for when I seek out a planner. For one, do you really think it's too much to ask that you have a firm grasp of what you're supposed to be doing? When I ask you for a sample of your work I want to see a portfolio – a portfolio, people! Some fucking pictures of stuff you've done all put together nice-like so I can see what you offer! I don't want you to describe how you planned your sister's twelfth wedding (held in the lovely, scenic steam room of the Hot Transvestite Hotel) or how you once eloped with a furry.

As someone I am supposed to hire you need to offer me something I can't or won't do myself. Completely custom build? Great. You've got an in with a couple dress designers? Fan-fucking-tastic! Have your own sim/land? Awesome. DJ, invitations, and photography included in final price and you have the staff to do it? Baby, I could kiss you. But do not offer me a set you've used for someone else and tell me oh, you'll change the colors of course.. and then tell me it's going to cost me 45k. For 45k you better be fluffing for the honeymoon.

BeefCake! BeeCake! BeefCake!

The Search for a BeefCake...
Every Monday we switch our Weekly BeefCake. Since we're fairly new bitches on the block we chose one that we all knew & agreed upon for the first week. Woot Sexy Vasean! MeOw! =^.^=

Not that this is a huge honor or anything, but we like looking at em. *winks* So if you think you have hot male pixels & want to be in that little box on the right for 7 days, drop us a line. The easiest way to get our attention is by showing us the sexiest pic you have of your SL-self, titled with your name (full permissions, of course). You can drop any pics in world on Rosie Shark or JellyBean Madison. Make sure you send an IM to let us know that you have given us a pic. Sometimes textures get lost or not seen. Same goes for you girls, if you know a hot male av that is beefcakey, let us know.

Thanks a heap...
Jell on behalf of all of the MG <3

Wooage 101 - How to Woo a Guy

In my last post I totally forgot to add the definition of wooage. My bad. So I think it's best if I begin this one with a clear definition. Oh yah and I'm sure I don't need to point out to you that this is just my opinion, right? I didn't think so. You're such a good class. :) I'm not sure I should be writing the Wooage posts, but I didn't see any of the other bitches here jumping all over it. Haha!

Wooage: to woo. The feeling of "awwww" from any given word, action, and/or moment. The event or action that causes your heart to flutter and your entire body to feel like silly putty.

Now that I got that out of the way an entire post too late, we can move on. Guys are a little bit different when it comes to woo because a lot of men in SL are pretty damn slutty and for those men of course there are skanks-a-plenty. This post isn't for either of them, but I'm sure down the road, I could dedicate a post to the Meat Market.

I did some research this time and besides big pixelated tatas being considered a form of wooage on our part, I learned very little. Most guys don't have clue one on what the hell they like or what they'd consider a wooage attempt. The general consensus was that most of them prefer a straight forward woman that will im them first. To them, this is wooage, crazy as that may sound to us. It gets them interested.

Guys are not romantic by nature & anything usually taken as romance was either for the woman's benefit or a complete "oopsie". So romance is probably not a route we should take when trying to woo the male species. Different guys take stuff in different ways and most of the time anything done generally just inflates their ego... giving them a smile, or a wink could or could not be considered wooage on your part.

From the guys I spoke to today my stance is this, they love the first move but only when us girls make it. Thing is a lot of guys don't really know what they want, so by the girl making the first move they are like wOOt, yah it gets them all hoppity. So girls, that's pretty much it. Haha! There is no such a thing as wooing a guy. Not in their eyes anyways. We may think we're wooing by giving them time, attention, fussing over them, trusting them around our friends, dressing them, etc etc but to them this isn't wooage. This is a girl who has peaked his interests, occasionally gives pressies and could see himself spending more time with.

Of course regardless of your sex, be it male or female, humans (avatars) in general want to know they are thought of. You can all refer back to Wooage 101 - How to Woo A Girl on ways to let someone know they are thought of.

If I'm wrong guys, please let me know. I'd love to hear what more than the 12 guys I asked say.
Happy wooage attempts,

Jell-

So, Where Ya From?

So, Where Ya From?

Did someone ever walk up to you and the 1st thing outta their mouth is.. "So where ya from?" Not Hello, How are you? Kiss my Butt..nuttin'.. they just wanna know where you're from. I just dont get it. My usual answer is Geometer.. cause thats the sim I live on. I'm online Aint I? I'm in SL Right? So, common sense tells me you wanna know where I am from IN HERE. But thats not what they mean. They wanna know where I'm from IRL.. which I dont keep a Big Secret, but its really not a conversation starter for me. It reminds me of my old chatroom days when all you saw was "a/s/l" splattered across the screen.

I mean IF you're lookin for someone that lives close to you then:

1. Turn off computer
2. Jump in the shower
3. Squirt on a lil smell good stuff
4. Go to your local Pick-Up joint
and
5. Possibly get lucky:P


I'm not saying that there aren't some in here that do desire to meet others with similiar interests for more that just an online relationship, but even so, I'd like to think MORE than a person's location would dictate how far 2 ppl would go.

The internet IS a wonderful place to broaden our horizons and reach out to touch people, but lets take time to do things a lil like the 'old fashioned' way.
Say Hello 1st:)

TY for listening to another rant..by

PetMe:)

Wooage 101 - How to Woo a Girl

It's come to my attention that most guys just basically suck at the simplest forms of wooage. For instance the...
#1 whip it out
#2 tap her in the forehead with it to the tune of woody wood pecker
#3 don't stop until she takes it in her mouth
approach probably doesn't work well on most of us women. I asked around to see what men would say their strongest woo points would be. I was surprised by many & generally jellyous too. You're probably thinking "Why the fuck is Jelly writing about how a guy should woo a girl", right? Well I'll tell ya... I use to think that wooage was very important, now even though I feel most of it is a crock of shit & pretty much a fairytale played out to get into the virtual grannies, it's still a nice thing. When you get it that is. I don't know one girl who hasn't fell deeply into an "awww" moment, me included. So this is just a guide per say to get ya guys on the right track.

So I'm going to start with what I know woos me. I love a good rooftop dance. Any guy could take a girl to a club, but a guy who has thought about it more than "I just want to touch her on the dance floor" could easily set up the most intimate, candlelit dance on top a secluded rooftop. Midnight City is great for this. Always take into effect auto return on any parcel. Not only does she feel the thought put into it but it's nice to not be in a huge crowd. It may take some work on your part since it seems that most places now have become no build. You will most likely have to find the perfect place prior to actually having your date to work out any kinks.

One of the main keys is atmosphere and location. It is amazing how much the setting can help set the mood and do a lot of the little work for you. So if you can pick a situation (like dancing) where there is some sort of physical contact or a cuddling position, with great scenery and the right music then you are 1/2 way there already. Then it is just all about focusing on your her and making her the center of your universe. Pay attention to what and how she is responding, and you can figure out real quick what it is that turns her on. You can also do little things like have her describe her perfect first date, or to tell you about her first kiss, that will open the doors to you on what sort of setting turns her on. Listening is a huge plus!

Sometimes being together, is enough to foster a feeling of closeness. You can also explore a quiet time together, talk about what you like about the place, maybe look for out of the way spots that you two discover together. You'd be surprised how fast a spot like that, even if it's just a little place, can easily turn into a shared special moment together. If you're the shy type, thats o.k. a lot of girls actually find that endearing, especially in SL. Let her know that you are shy & that you want to get to know her better.

Dating is not the only time you can woo. Little things like gifts of thought work well too. For example if you know where her home set is, you can fill that area with flowers after she logs. Don't spend a lot of money, there's no need. They could be copyable flowers. It's just the thought that you took the time to A. remember her log in spot B. thought of her enough to leave her a gift telling her just that.

One word to her can mean so much. If you're thinking of her let her know in an IM. If all else fails, and you don't know what to do for a date night, you rent a movie and watch it together.
For a guide on date places and other stuffies, visit Natalia's SL Diary Blog post where she posted one on Dating & Philosophy.
Good Luck! And happy woo'ing!

Coming Soon: Wooage 101 - How to Woo a Guy

Da Bling Thing

Not sure I'm even ready for mah 1st Blog but here it goes..

Lately I've been chatting with the other MG's about our pet peeves in SL and I gotta say my BIGGEST pp is BLING.. I mean everyone as a newbie is enthralled with *bling* when they 1st arrive in SL... but like ::Get Over it Already:: All it does is cover up the beautiful things created by other designers that really take time, effort AND imagination to make.

Did you realize that MOST bling is made by no talent "so called designers" that throw a bling script in a prim! .. Even I could do that fgs! and I'm about as "prim handicapped" as they come:P

I think the guys that use bling are worse than the chicks.. I mean irl we girls can sorta *bling* with our jewelry and certain clothing we wear, but how many guys do you see walking around with *blingy* arm cuffs and belt buckles? Come on Guys.. Get with It.. Use that "shiny" personality to get some attention. I mean do you really wanna be known as "that blingy guy?"

Just for the record I wanna say I'm not against ALL *bling* Some things do work well with a "lil sparkle" like engagement rings or to accent something thats brand spanking new.. but those Over Blingers who shoot blinding lights outta every avie orafice really gotta go:) TY for reading... and I will be back with more of Pet's Peeves :P

PetMe:)

2 Faces of Shit!

Alright, for my first blog I would like to talk about something near and dear to every one's heart... Shit talkers!! LOL that's right those that feel they can say things behind your back yet to your face they pretend like your the bee's knees. Gah.. What is up with that? As anyone knows I don't follow the whole "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" point of view. I follow the "if you have something to say then say it to my face" A good friend is someone who will tell you that your being a bitch and stfu!

It's not that I'm that much of a bitch *although I am* I just don't see the point in hiding how I feel.. What's the point? Sure I don't want to totally hurt my friend's feelings, that's why are there nicer ways to say things. It's called tact people.. It's an amazing thing.. you can say whatever you want and still be civil about it *although I have to admit I lack it at times when I really don't like someone*

Not everyone is going to get along. Even the closest of friends will fight now and then, but don't go around being 2 faced about it! If you want to vent then vent, but make sure you don't say anything you wouldn't say to that person.

I love cats... but I can't eat a whole one.

Nekos.

That's right, nekos. If you can't hear the disdain then you're just not listening hard enough. It's way past time for someone to say something. (And, go figure, halfway through writing this I see that the next PWND magazine is -duh- nekos. Awesome. Oh well, I must persevere, it's for the good of the people!) In general nekos are a good idea; cutesy, catty (no pun intended), and it totally gives you a viable excuse for purring like a wanton hussy whenever you damn well feel like it.

Yeah, it's adorable the first 5000 times I see one but there is only so much cat-tail a mouse can take. I know this sounds super hypocritical but really, the girls I log with rock and you don't. So, do us all a favor – When you find yourself bored and think “Hmm.. I should go neko like every other girl in SL” just don't. When I rez into a sim (and this happened the other night, mind you) and every single girl in there is part cat, my allergies start acting up and no one believes me when I tell them that “Cough-cough-sheep-cough” really is just how it sounds when I have a little tickle in my throat. The worst part is... they're multiplying! (And thanks to PWND it's going to be even worse. Good job, Bitches. :P)

Originality is not a sin. Hell, you don't even have to be completely original! You know, if you want to be anthro you can do just about anything. I'm part mouse, my boyfriend is part fox (and all sexy! -pant pant- ) and I know girls that are part bunny. There's a wicked cool naga set with AO and everything so you can be part snake even!

Rip apart a fursuit, build your own, or gather parts around the sims. It takes a bit of looking but it can be done! You do not have to be a catgirl - there is hope!

More designers should make random animal parts .. like raccoons and foxes and mice and bunnies and shit. (Personally, I think I would make one sexy little piggy anthro. Can't you just see it? A cute nose prim and curly tail.. OMFG.) The best place to find a set that isn't kitty is at Hybrid. They are hidden way on the top of the wall but hey, it's a start. They even come with a HUD just like other, better selling cat-girl items do!

Fact is, lots of cool ideas are pushed aside in favor of the “top seller”. I don't begrudge you designers your lindens or props – I know how crappy it can be sometimes... but, don't you think that if we pushed a little more variety we could more than make up in revenues the time spent on the design?

Now, what have we learned? That's right; just say no to 'Neko'... and for god's sake, pass the cheese.

**I'd just like to add... Fuckin' A Right InkD tattoo on the cover of PWND. Have I told you lately that I love you? (Kiss)**

The Thong is Wrong!

Okay time for me to step up on my soap box, *takes deep breath* And here we go...

I hate thongs on males, I really hate it! Whoever thinks (with the exception of gay men *coughs Blaine*) that hairy men's asses slung into some butt floss is sexy seriously needs a psych evaluation. You know what's sexy? Boxers! Yes, boxers. I can understand men wanting girls in a thong. I mean after all our pixels are sexier in the breakdown of sexes, but guys, thongs? Eww! STOP THE MADNESS PEOPLE!

• Naked WITH attachment? Yes!

• Boxers? Yes!

• Swim trunks? Yes!

• Boxer briefs? Eh, still better than a thong!

The only reason why I have ever attended a thong night was because it was my friends club. Otherwise I would have totally protested. While I'm on this subject, let me tell you that I am tired of nooblet sluts that do nothing but text rape me with their sexual obnoxiousness every time I'm in chat range. Thong night just so happens to be a great environment for this. Gah! CLOSE UR LEGS GIRLS! YOU'RE STINKIN UP THE JOINT! Sluts giving sweet, innocent, virginal girls like us a bad rep. *rolls her eyes*

Okay back to the subject at hand... THONGS on males. If you are planning on attempting to swoon us, please, please, please do not whip out the ass floss. I don't care if it's the only thing you got to work with, just don't! Try relying on wit, charm, words of woo, or anything else you can pull out of your ass, just not that string. It's the quickest corkiest way to dry us bitches up. *excuse me while I vomit*

*steps off soap box*.
Thong Song

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Role Call

Finally! A Blogzine that tackles the hard-hitting issues of our day! A handbook for the things you really need (and want) to know in SL.

Things have changed since SL’s inception. Gone are the days when a nooblet might stumble around blindly for months before realizing the appearance enhancements they could achieve by adding store-bought skin, shape, and prim hair to their invey.

Now, within moments of departing Welcome Island, most noobs are met with the helpful, if not terribly original, advice of more experienced players. Long-time residents of SL prove themselves friendly and helpful to both newer players as well as the icons of the fashion community. As a fresh-faced, wet-behind-the-ears Male avatar, you would be advised of the benefits of doling out just under 2k for a Naughty skin. Guaranteed to earn you hawt points with the skin’s yummy features… and the added bonus of a flaccid chicken!… you’d be armored to face the next step of your transition. But no need to go far! For your prim hair needs you’d be just a hop, skip, and a jump away from the favorites: Tamed, Desire, Deception, and OC at Influence… right there on the same friggen island. For quality men’s clothing, your needs could also be met on Naughty Island… noway!! One-stop shopping! OMG Shup! Oh but yes it’s true. Clothing advice would most likely be tempered with a healthy sprinkling of FORM and DE Designs as well.

As a female noob, the choice to send you directly to Naughty might vary and you might find yourself at Celestial for skins and ETD or Gurl 6 for hair instead. Clothing advice would depend on the style of your guide. We know alts, though, and yes Naughty is often the first and only stop to get your makeover from head to toe.

How do we here at Mean Girls feel about this advice? Why, it’s approved… 110%! This is not the beginner’s guide to SL, however. Think of us as more for the intermediate to advanced user.

You’ve got your shell, backed with the fashion community’s stamp of approval. Your next step is learning the navigation, the things to do, and what you’ll make of your time.

We’ll cover fashion in these pages as well as helping you to find the fun. Our main focus will be on what you do with your Secondlife in a nothing-is-sacred, no-one-is-safe, more honest approach. You know you’ve thought it… we’re just giving it voice.

We’ve assembled a group of experienced users to shed light on the serious topics in SL such as reships, drama, land, money, group affiliation, and jobs. These will be covered with upcoming features such as:

• Confessions
• How To’s
• She Said… She Said
• Do’s and Don’ts
• Rules
• Interviews
• Dear Rosies

Asked what kind of pet peeves the girls have, I found that this list could be combined… I mean does anyone like bling? Other annoyances included:

• Lag
• Overly-used gestures with the exception of Hooooo!
• Douchebags
• Mental Case
• Ignorance
• Fake people
• Fair-weather friends
• Missing Image
• Map Stalkers (there is a difference between map stalking and map watching people!)
• Chat spam (i.e., unruly gestures that color outside the lines, Xcite! Parts notifications, pregnancy indicators)

And now let me introduce your guides:


JellyBean Madison
Never had an issue stating her opinion, no stranger to blogging, and looks good with pom poms that she will not hesitate to throw down and get in your face yo! She’s a machinamaniac and our resident expert on finding the fun. A bubbly ray of pink sunshine on most days, she won’t hesitate to point out that the path you’re on may lead to mute and ban. A teeshirt and jeans kinda girl, she cleans up well and can stand nose to nose with any haughty debutante Barbie doll in the land. What does she bring to the Mean Girl’s Party? Tostitos and cheese, betch! Oh and insight into the lives of her mantourage as well!

Akasha Nyak
Enemy of spellcheck (yes her blogs will be proofread), she could care less what you think of her. More likely to stab you than take the time to spell out her frustration with you, she brings her witty, sharp tongue and flicks her purple tail with irritation at the ignorant masses. Though sometimes quiet (it’s the goth in her) and does not share all her thoughts, you will undoubtedly know where you stand with Akasha Nyak. Rarely do other’s opinions matter to her… and matter less if you’re among the shallow, spell-checking, manslut variety. She is an innovative builder who loves finding new sims and designs and spending time with close friends. She’s bringing the Dewwwww… oh and the stabbing!

Petme Petunia
Like the Spice Girls, the Mean Girls strive to be defined individually. Though Pet campaigned hard for Big Ass Slut, she was vetoed by the rest and is now known for her elegance. Though I’ve known Pet for just a short time, she’s growing on me. She’s unafraid to tell it like it is nor is she too shy to ask the questions you all want answers to! She claims to have lived a sheltered slife for 2 years but has learned the joy of ragging on people and fighting… she doesn’t care if you think she’s a biatch… that you think of her is enough :P Pet loves the talent showcased in SL and has a knack for having talented friends, she says. She has no problem sharing her opinion or asking questions that most polite people would refrain from. She brings her love of people and her observations of the good and the bad that make people who they are… though the bad makes for a more interesting read!

Laylah Mistral
Stinging wit coupled with a silver tongue is our very own Lala. A very popular and talented tattoo artist who is disgustingly in uber love with her fiancé (try them on skype together you’ll see what I mean), Laylah strives to shed the light on the not-so-impressive job market in SL and have fun with her friends. She flies by the seat of her pants and her amazing mastery of her ADD is sure to provide interest and insight into the lives of the populace. Kinda trashy, kinda classy, and way too much fun, Lala is the Keeper of The Rack and can be used as a model for the Bewbs.

Rosie Shark
A Barbie Doll at her core, she’s recently taken a walk on the wilder side… much-encouraged by dirty designers and tomboy friends. At first taken as quiet, shy, and snobby, it often takes a second look to realize she’s merely choosing her words. Though she claims to be one of the nicest people you will ever meet, her alliance with and involvement in The Mean Girls leaves room for speculation. She cherishes the friends she has made and the people she has met in SL and looks forward to many adventures to come. With an obscene like for the silly and no stranger to making mistakes, she aims to point out what she’s learned and how others could do it better… and with more finesse.

Join us, won’t you, on our journey. We aim to poke fun, yes… but we are an equal opportunity blog! Time enough to point out the misadventures of many different slifestyles and types. Many times I’m sure you’ll find your own thoughts and beliefs among the fun, sarcastic, opinionated, sometimes jaded, always hopeful heap that is The Mean Girls.