Thursday, August 30, 2007

Misdaventures in Cyber, the Stolen Transcripts; Vol. II

Sexy Rach
“SexyRach”: Wanna cyber?
“Badness”: Yeah I'm up for that
“SexyRach”: OK, but don't tell anybody
“SexyRach”: Who are you?
“Badness”: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
“Badness”: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa Murphy's in my Geo Storm.
“SexyRach”: You sound sexy… I bet you want me in the back of your car…
“Badness”: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa Murphy's and make an order
“SexyRach”: Haha! OK… Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
“Badness”: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa Murphy's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order.
“Badness”: So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
“SexyRach”: I want everything, baby!
“Badness”: Is this a delivery?
“SexyRach”: Umm...Yes
“SexyRach”: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
“Badness”: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house...
“SexyRach”: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
“Badness”: You can't hurry good pizza.
“Badness”: I'm on my way now though...
“SexyRach”: So you're at my front door now.
“Badness”: How did you know?
“Badness”: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
“Badness”: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
“SexyRach”: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold.
Warm me up baby
“Badness”: So you're still in the bathroom?
“SexyRach”: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
“Badness”: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand.
“Badness”: As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough,
“Badness”: but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door...
“SexyRach”: What the Fuck?
“SexyRach”: You perverted piece of Shit
“SexyRach”: fuck you!

-blocked me-

Karla
“Badness”: You ready yet? I’m bearing to go!
“Karla”: Yeah I’m slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like?
“Badness”: a Kodiak bear
“Karla”: ?
“Badness”: I’m soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me
“Karla”: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you
“Karla”: stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach
“Badness”: I growl to warm you my cubs are near
“Karla”: huh?
“Badness”: Bears get fuckin pumped when anyone is near their cubs
Sexkarla17: yeah hehe dont be silly…
“Karla”: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants.
“Badness”: Bears don’t wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now
“Karla”: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly
“Badness”: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you
“Badness”: I Growl again, and start to bite you
“Karla”: Yeah that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now
“Badness”: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey,
“Badness”: I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll.
“Karla”: what the Fuck!!!
“Badness”:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and I’m spent.

hOttie
“Badness”: I'm hard, you ready to jump aboard?
“hOttie”: oh yeah I’m so wet right now
“Badness”: Why you just shower?
“hOttie”: no I’m wet for you
“Badness”: Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator thing?
“Badness”: you would dive and slide down, there was that badass pool at the end of it.
“hOttie”: What the Fuck are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not?
“Badness”: I do! Sorry...I just didn’t know why you were wet...
“Badness”: Then you say your wet for me, and I’m thinking I didn’t even throw water on you...
“Badness”: I’m sorry lets continue!
“hOttie”: alright then...I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest
“Badness”: I pop like 16 boners
“hOttie”: what the Fuck!!!
“Badness”: what?

6 comments:

Caliah Lyon said...

The Legend of Bloodninja never gets old.

(These and the last one were originally his transcripts, they're hilarious).

Claudine Jewell said...

oh my thats so funny

October Hush said...

God, I love these so much.

tiana meriman said...

lol that guy is so mean, its like all he does all day is find people to cyber with and mess with them.

Cecille said...

Hhahah - these entries always make me laugh so hard :') lol

Ginseng Kyong said...

I like the pizza one the best.. so creative.