Friday, June 22, 2007

We May Be Bunnehs but We're Not Soft and Furry

It didn't really occur to me that when I landed at Playboy I might automatically be taken for a working girl. Decked out in a Stellar short skirt and runned pantyhose, apparently I fit the bill for the Naughty Schoolgirl lookin' for a Head Master with a need to discipline. Asked by a friend to check out the new sim because neither of us had seen it yet, I went in totally unprepared. I had no idea that this opportunity would be ripe for a MG slam as well as fun with the girls.

This particular project, Playboy in SL, has been addressed before but after exploring the sim myself I just had to post my thoughts here. What comes to mind when you hear that Playboy has come to SL? Visions of the recreated infamous Playboy Mansion? Playboy Parties where the celebrities mingle around the pool? Bunnehs lounging all over... plenty to go around 2 to a guy? Yes all of this and more. Given the abilities and endless opportunites to do whatever you want in SL, you might expect something that Hugh himself would be proud of. Sadly, I can't imagine that anyone is proud of this. We all realize of course that Hugh is a lady killer. He could hardly be assed to personally ensure that his legacy was being properly respected inside a virtual world. But surely he didn't get to where he is by hiring half-assed people to perform mediocre tasks. This is yet the latest example of a huge company thinking that marketing in SL would be an easy way to turn a quick buck.

How does a virgin company ensure that they're properly portrayed in SL when they don't have any idea what SL is and how the community works?? My thinking is that maybe (I know it's asking alot)... just maybe... they spend some time researching the environment that they are planning to infiltrate. Overall, I really only liked that the shape of the island from map view is the classic Playboy logo... oh and there was a poseball group in the "Grotto" called 'Hef'. That made me snicker. Other than that, the whole sim is totally forgettable and, in fact, gives you that omg-how-embarrassing feeling as you explore. The build is willy nilly, the textures flat and amateurish. Not to mention there is just a cluster-fuck kinda feel to how the whole sim is laid out. And, I'm sorry, a "Drum Hill" with elven drums? This has to do with Playboy how? I'm not sure who the right builder would have been for this project, but you can bet I'd have found out if it was *my* project!

The main theme, obviously, centers around Playboy merchandise that you can buy to compliment your av (in world) or rl by going online. It's marketing... I get that. In this area, though, some research could help you realize that while it might be realistic to sell a diamond belt in RL for $950, there are no diamonds in sl and 950L for that is laughable. This would only be appropriate if this belt could not only look good (which it doesn't), but also rezz a magnificent mansion complete with waterfalls and lounging strumpets who would cater to all your fantasies and expectations of what it would be like to be a true playboy. So, I'm wondering. Did anyone actually shop in SL before deciding that the prices for apparel and attachments was in line with current market demand? Or did whoever was commissioned to create these objects/apparel simply take full advantage of the opportunity to work for Playboy to hike prices up thinking the general sl public would be stupid enough to pay for poor quality just for the glory of wearing a logo? Seeing large companies enter into the SL collective is an exciting thing. I'm sure there are many more to come. My plea is that someone on staff actually investigate or research,.. do your job! Find the right people to build your legacy in our world. Get out a little... shop, visit great builds, read a blog or something. This to me was like visiting The Edge for the first time. Playboy pictures plastering every available wall... fighting for prim space with poorly made merchandise.

In addition, I'm sure we can all imagine the outcome of placing a Playboy sim into our world. Doesn't this give every Ron Jeremy wannabe just what they have been looking for? Funny how ridiculous some people can be. Playboy sees sl as a web page... browse here to buy our stuff. Yet what a great opportunity for every horny guy/girl to think this is their big chance for some serious bunneh-style boinkage. Case in point: Mr Ron Jeremy look alike himself. I would almost feel sorry for this guy. That he chose to let out his inner playboy on the exact same night that the Mean Girls just happened to be looking for prey. But then he spoke and it was all magic...

“Playboy Pete”: you guys havin a party
Orchid Glitterbuck: All party all the time! Meow
Orchid Glitterbuck: My what a big cigar you have
JellyBean Madison: Well hello Sexyface
“Playboy Pete”: ill tell you what honey...i got somethin even bigger
Orchid Glitterbuck: Oh do you?
“Playboy Pete”: ladies ladies.... there is enough of me to go around
Orchid Glitterbuck: Are you sure of that?
Rosie Shark: we're not as easy to please as you might think
Orchid Glitterbuck: What if the three of us were to tackle you like it were 1st and 10?
“Playboy Pete”: hey football is my sport honey, 1st and 10 lets go beautiful
Orchid Glitterbuck: Well I'm afraid you'll have to teach me the game
JellyBean Madison: are u always this forward or are we extremely lucky?
“Playboy Pete”: is what ever you want it to be
Orchid Glitterbuck: Anything she wants .. or anything any of us want?
JellyBean Madison: Oh my Gawd! are u Hugh?
Orchid Glitterbuck: I only ask because my demands are often deemed ... strange or unusual.
“Playboy Pete”: this is a plural conversation i said...there is room for all ;)
Orchid Glitterbuck: So what's your favorite thing about a woman, Pete?
JellyBean Madison: is it my tail?
“Playboy Pete”: ok you guys arent gonna believe me but...its the companionship...i look for a ladie who i can get close to and cuddle with
Orchid Glitterbuck: AWw well its a shame we're bunnies then. Bunnies are notorious for being cute a cuddly, but hard to catch.
“Playboy Pete”: look here sweetie, you can run ALL you want...but i will be following
Orchid Glitterbuck: Is that so?
“Playboy Pete”: yes mam
Orchid Glitterbuck: That almost sounds like a dare.
“Playboy Pete”: baby its a double dare
Orchid Glitterbuck: a double DOG dare?
“Playboy Pete”: jelly bean why are you so quite, and yes a Double Dog Dare
Orchid Glitterbuck: She's the strong silent type…but a minx in the sack
“Playboy Pete”: is this true… mmm strike a pose likeing it
Orchid Glitterbuck: and Rosie in Red ... if compared to an animal would be… a badger.
Orchid Glitterbuck: She's ruthless.
“Playboy Pete”: how you doin cutie
JellyBean Madison: *smiles*
Orchid Glitterbuck: Myself? I'm like a walrus - thick skinned and hard to wrestle.
“Playboy Pete”: now ladies, let me ask you somethin...there is a nice romantic spot with a fire just around the corner...are you guys interested
“Playboy Pete”: we could to know one another...what do ya say
Rosie Shark: could we make s'mores?
Orchid Glitterbuck: What's the use in getting to know each other? I mean ... is that =really= what you want?
“Playboy Pete”: all that rosie...and so so so much more
Orchid Glitterbuck: Oh oh or hot chocolate!… smores are kinda messy though
JellyBean Madison: and I just got my bunny suit dry cleaned :/
“Playboy Pete”: orchid, your too mean gorgeous, of course i want to get to know you guys, i wouldnt be a gentlemen if i didnt want that
Orchid Glitterbuck: Aww I'm mean? Does that mean that I need some discipline?
Orchid Glitterbuck: Or maybe just a few slaps here and there?
“Playboy Pete”: hey baby, if you want it you got it
Orchid Glitterbuck: WE could always sit on the dock of the bay and watch the tide roll away.
“Playboy Pete”: so tell me about yourselves ladies
Orchid Glitterbuck: Well .. my name is Orchid. I like purple and boys.
“Playboy Pete”: well im one of those things
Orchid Glitterbuck: I also like kittens and bunnies and my favorite movie is Saving Ryan's Privates.
“Playboy Pete”: hahaha i see where your going with that
“Playboy Pete”: jelly what about you and your fascination with rosie
Rosie Shark: she's my bitch
JellyBean Madison: its infatuation
“Playboy Pete”: well jelly?
JellyBean Madison: my cats name is Petey
“Playboy Pete”: is that so...well you got good taste if i dont say so myself
Orchid Glitterbuck: But you did.
Orchid Glitterbuck: You did say so yourself.
“Playboy Pete”: rosie sweetie why are you being quite now
Rosie Shark: I'm busy sexing jell up in IM
JellyBean Madison: Oh I wanna.... oh yah! ung ung unfph
“Playboy Pete”: ohhhh really
Rosie Shark: oh yea really
“Playboy Pete”: rosie you and jelly are driving me wild
JellyBean Madison slides herself across rosie
Rosie Shark shivers deliciously
Orchid Glitterbuck bats her lashes.
IM: “Playboy Pete”: well hello gorgeous
IM: “Playboy Pete”: i tell you what, the way the sun shines off of you is breath taking
IM: Rosie Shark: You should see how it shines off of Jell’s ass
IM: “Playboy Pete”: yes i have noticed
IM: “Playboy Pete”: but rosie, i would like to talk to you if that is ok
IM: JellyBean Madison: “Playboy Pete”: you are all kinds of dirty arent you JellyBean Madison: I do what I can
JellyBean Madison is feeling frisky
Rosie Shark: mmm yea?
JellyBean Madison: mhm
Rosie Shark: let me take u home?
JellyBean Madison: Yes Please
IM: JellyBean Madison: “Playboy Pete”: jelly bean you are very good at what you do
Orchid Glitterbuck: Sorry I was taking a call
“Playboy Pete”: o thats ok would you like to take a stroll with me?
“Playboy Pete”: come on gorgeous, lets go sit by the fire how does that sound
Orchid Gliterbuck: Sorry - I have to go. I have to see the gynecologist. Stipulation of my contract you see.

IM: “Playboy Pete”: baby i am STILL thinking about you


tiana meriman said...

i still dont know why guys think we wont copy-paste their flirting. theres no point in iming each one seperatly we're just gonna share it anyway lol

Imzadi Giles said...

I have to agree with everything you have said about the Playboy SIM. To add (unless i missed it) its SUPER laggy.
I ran into "Playboy Pete".... he had just gotten there and hadn't started on the girls... yet

I would have loved to explore the entire sim and shop but i wasn't able to move i guess thats one place i will never return to.

Ginseng Kyong said...

Good review... I have not been to the Playboy Sim yet, now I have an even less interest in it.

I am not surprised the sim is a flop, I had kind of expected it to be so. I believe there was some playboy pc video game that came out a while ago, it was a clone of the sims, but then with it's own features. The idea was cool, but it too was given bad reviews.

It will be interesting to see what happens with it. Right now the name is enough to bring people to the sim, but after the newness wears off, it will either have to change or it will disappear.

I like your ideas of what the sim should be. What would also be cool, for them to promote their sim, is if they have try outs at the sim for being a sl playboy. Then, they could have a small area in there magazine for displaying the sl playboy of the month.

♥ JellyBean ♥ said...

I think that's an awesome idea Ginseng. I was sadly disappointed, more so for Hawks. :p But Huzzah cause Playboy sucked. XD

PhoJam said...

i am still thinking bout you...

and, ooh i just leveled up!