Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Misdaventures in Cyber, the Stolen Transcripts; Vol. I


"japgirlie": Your funny
"Badness": Thank you
"japgirlie": You make me all wet, talking to you
"Badness": I do, in what way?
"japgirlie": I bet you could get me off in no time,,,That way.
"Badness": like off the couch, to get me a beer or somthing?
"japgirlie": lol noooooo.. I mean, if i was to get naked for you, and do anything you want, .....get off that way, you know.
"Badness": ohhh you want to cyber?
"japgirlie": YES!! give me a second though, ok?
"Badness": Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
"japgirlie": thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
"Badness": A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
"japgirlie": haha, ok lets go.
"japgirlie": : i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
"Badness": I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
"japgirlie": haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
"japgirlie": i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
"Badness": : Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
"japgirlie": No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
"Badness": Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
"japgirlie": stop, cmon be serious.
"Badness": It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
"Badness": I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
"japgirlie": thats it.
"Badness": Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
"Badness": Goddam am I hard now.

-she signed off...-

"jenny": Want to Cyber?
"Badness": Sure i'll try it
"Badness": I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
"jenny": mmmm, okay.
"Badness": I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
"jenny": Yeah I like it rough.
"Badness": I smack you thick booty.
"jenny": Oh yeah, that feels good.
"Badness": Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
"Badness": I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
"Badness": I peel some bananas.
"jenny": Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
"Badness": get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
"jenny": Peanuts?
"Badness": Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
"jenny": What are you talking about?
"Badness": I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
"jenny": This is stupid.
"Badness": Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
"Badness": Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
"Badness": Yeeaahhhh.
"jenny": /ignore
"Badness": Its cool stone cold she was a bitch! anyway.
"Badness": We get on tricycles and ride into the sunset

-She blocked me...-

"illegalbritspears": Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice alright?
"Badness": Alright.
"Badness": Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
"illegalbritspears": I slip out of my pants, just for you, Badness
"Badness": Oh yeah, alright. Alright, I put on my cloak and wizard hat.
"illegalbritspears": Oh, I like to play dress up.
"Badness": Me too baby.
"illegalbritspears": I kiss you softly on your chest.
"Badness": I cast Lvl. 4 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
"illegalbritspears": Hey...
"Badness": I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Hard on of the Infinite.
"illegalbritspears": Funny I still don't see it.
"Badness": I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Abyss.
"illegalbritspears": You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
"Badness": Don't f*ck with me #@%$!, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
"Badness": I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 10,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
"illegalbritspears": Don't ever message me again you piece of $!@%.
"Badness": Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts a counter attack,
"Badness": leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
"Badness": King Arthur and the knights of the round table congratulate me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army
"Badness": of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
"Badness": You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
"Badness": Baby?

britspears again?
"illegalbritspears": Ok, are you ready?
"Badness": Alright, yeah I'm ready.
"illegalbritspears": I like your name... Tee hee.
"Badness": huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
"illegalbritspears": Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
"illegalbritspears": I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
"Badness": Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
"illegalbritspears": What the FUCK, I told you not to message me again.
"Badness": Oh Shit, Wait,,, you messaged me,!!
"illegalbritspears": I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fucking asshole
"Badness": Oh shit
"Badness": damn I gotta write down your names or something....


Carissa said...

OMG!! I'm laughing do hard I'm crying! BIG FAT giggle dribbles rolling down my cheeks.

Darn it! My mascara!

tiana meriman said...

lol i love these transcripts! makes me laugh so hard everytime i read them.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Pepper hurts when you snort it out your nose...these posts should really come with some health warning!!!

Aleri Darkes said...

ok, these transcripts are fricking awesome! Love it, love it! More more!

myg said...

I applaud you, that is the funniest shit I've read in a good long while...btw is badness free tonight? I'm feelin a little randy...

Chloe Streeter said...

Hilarious! Reading this made my night :)

Cecille said...

Hahaha~ OMG I laughed so hard my stomach still hurts XD Fell of my chair too! Love your entries here, keep up the good work ;)

Gillian Waldman said...


Wrath said...

OMFG I am dying here!!!! I really hope 90% of those transcripts were fabricated, because if I try to imagine for one second any of that actually took place, I'm totally gonna lose it, that is just way too f-ing hilarious!! Sheesh.

These Mean Girls® "Tips & Techniques for Proper Cybering" are priceless, I can't believe how much a guy can learn from just one post, thank you for turning my SL life around! ;-)

Laylah said...

These always make me laugh my ass off. The MGs should make man alts and take them into the seedy underground sex parlors and piss off some cum-dumpsters!

"Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass."

Rosie said...

Geesh I'm so naive sometimes, lol. I found these on my computer a couple nights ago... originally sent to me long ago when I played TSO by a friend. The story was that the guy was someone we both knew and these were his adventures. Either he is the original "badness" or he swiped em and put his name on em LOL. Iunno but they cracked me up! I had to share :P

Gen said...

You ever laugh so hard that the cottage cheese& pinapple u were eating actually goes up ur nose? OH MY GAWD! THat Was a classic momment in ROFLMAO History

Anonymous said...

Rosie you are a comedic "nice" mean girl... I love you! Give me more!

Guenivere(in TSO) / Safire (in SL) said...

LOL! Oh fuk Rosie, man I remember those days.. christ Bad is such a badass... it still makes me piss my pants laughing ... man we all were SO FUKING DRUNK back then WEOOOOT!!! Makes me wanna play TSO again for 5 minutes until i remember why it sucks graphically lol!

Guenivere(in TSO) / Safire (in SL) said...

BTW Ladies, YES those were real attempts of girls to cyber our friend "Bad" lol.

dwayne said...

This is So'Bad lol, it seems my name was changed to protect me.. LOL....So'badness hahaa.
That game could be fun at times lol. there is more to post still. like Papa Murphy's pizza.. I actually made her wait 15 minutes for the delivery. well you'll get it, if it gets posted LOL.
Miss lots of you from that Game. Hi Rosie, Guen..

dwayne said...

OH OH.. Remember the PENIS house, and how we all dress up in white outfits, and Ran from the balls to the tip,, first one out got to be the Baby LOL. ugh,, i think i still have a pic of that somewhere on my computer LOL.

So'bad :-)~~

Guenievere/Safire Moonlight said...

OMG I DO remember the penis house!! HAHAHAH I had forgotten till you mentioned it Dwayne... omg I think we were all mental for a good long while but I don't think I have had so much fun since LOL!