Wednesday, November 7, 2007

It's.....

We've all seen one, that person who you catch a glimpse of on your mysti tool and gone "ZOMG it's like HER!!!" to yourself. Well stop with the sycophancy and get your arse certifiably famous.

First of all fame needs a name, and in SL it's easy. Things to remember.

DON'T put stupid numbers in your name. Anyone remember Rebecca1976 Bergman? No.

DON'T, for the love of god, call yourself after anyone already famous. That's just silly.

DO make it memorable, being a household name is easier if people can remember it.



Place's to be seen and not to be seen.

Do hang around in pricey classy shops. Better yet, if the owner of the shop is there, strike up a conversation, tell them briefly (make sure no one is around) that you adore their stuff. Then witter on about badgers and the price of cheese for as long as possible. Anyone else arriving at the shop will be awestruck to see you on such pally terms with their designing god/goddess. Also after the event you can say to folks "Oh well yes, I was talking to earlier, she's releasing a new set of shoes which she gave to me but OBVIOUSLY I can't show you because it's a secret."

DON'T hang around the welcome area. Newbies will not care who you are.

DO go to the opening of an envelope. Wear something fabulous and say something witty. Try to appear like you're a friend of the other famous people there.


Dealing with the Press.

I generally find that the press are a funny bunch, but there is no such thing as BAD PR
ESS! Got caught on your hands and knees in Hard Alley? Simply release a heartfelt statement of regret, or you can declare that you're having a nervous breakdown. Old porn film surfaced on some bitching blog, laugh it off, you were young, precocious, got in with the wrong crowd/partner. It's all good baby.
Of course there are members of the press fraternity who's sole aim in life is to make you look bad. Laugh it off, smile and say you thought their post was hilarious. Keep telling yourself "They only say it because they want to be me".


No press at all? Make your own. An alt is an excellent way to start rumours about yourself. The more contraversial, the better.


What to wear and more importantly what not to wear.

DON'T wear bling. Ever.


DO wear the latest things. Scour the forums (forget the blogs, if someone has already blogged it, it's not new).

DON'T answer questions about where you got an item you were wearing in IM's. You have to show the world that people adore your style.

DO be different. Turn up to a product launch in casual clothes/nakie/clothes made by another designer. You kn
ow your a sycophant, but no one else needs to.



Other points to note.

DO change your partner frequently, a blanketing silence over the end of a relationship is a sure fire way to get tongues wagging. This will also help covering up more embarrassing rumours about your person, blame it on the ex.

Less is more only with clothes darling, you need to be seen everywhere!

With that in mind DO start a blog, or better still. Join someone elses already well established blog.


DO things for charidee, not only do you get a warm snuggly feeling but you will instantly appear generous in the eyes of your public (WARNING: Do not give to charity after a scandal. It will make you appear fickle)

DO keep your old friends, you never know what secrets they may divulge, however dropping them can be useful for creating press if neccessary.

Stick to these guidelines and within weeks you shall find yourself laughing it up with the A-list and being bitched about on the forums.

Congratulations!


13 comments:

Queenie Extraordinaire said...

Kitty, you're a freakin riot! I am home sick from work and the pics and post made my day (and subsequently sent me into another raging fit of coughing).
;-)

~QQ~

Erin said...

OH! That's how you do it...I've been doing everything wrong in my desperate search for fame. Thanks for the helpful hints. ;-)

Carissa said...

That's it! I'm officially starting a Kitty Lalonde fan club.

I just need to find someone to help me make "KITTY RAWKS" t shirts

Phoenix Chapman said...

Hahaha thanks for the laughs Kitty XD

Iris Seale said...

That's great! I'm officially joining the Kitty Fan Club :)

Kitty Lalonde said...

Murhahahahah!

My cunning plan worked *rubs her hands together gleefully*

(Oh yeah, can I join?)

Laynie said...

Too cute!!!

HawksRock said...

Sooo, now if you get all rich and famous can we switch it up and I get to start putting the spy bots in YOUR planter now... :) Woot, hilarious post Kitty! Keep it up!

swaffette Firefly said...

funniest thing ive read on the fashion blogs in ages , ty for the laugh :)

Tiernan Serpentine said...

I saw Kitty Lalonde dealing hard drugs at a nude Linden party while fellating small animals. It was outrageous!

Di May said...

That is great, so many of them had me saying... "So True!!!"

Melissa Yeuxdoux said...

Hilarious!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to practice the Badger Song.

lucillemorigi said...

Love it...