Thursday, March 20, 2008

So yeah, it's another guide


Hopefully now having followed my guide to fame, you shall find yourself at the very epicentre of everyone else's tiny world. However, maintaining your state as most beloved person ever isn't all that easy is it? If only there was some way to get all your adoring fans flocking to your IM box with messages of love and support. Well lucky for you there is, and so without further ado I present Kitty's guide to making an exit.

Preparation

Now you can't just up sticks and leave, cos that's all a bit crap. For one, no one will IM you with "Oh noes please stay" if they didn't know you were leaving. So first off you need to let everyone know of your impending desertion. However, you must be aware that some people won't just 'understand' your reasons for leaving without some sort of explaination. Reasons for leaving vary wildly. Stupid reasons to cite would be boredom, frustration with glitches or a messy inventory. Better reasons are stalkers, the unhappy end to a love affair or someone being mean to you. Now you have your sob story set up it's time to get the story out. IMing your friends list is all well and good, but we need the world to know about it. It's a good idea to display some of your utter dispair with whatever has gone on with you before hand, through emo blog posts. However try to keep this to a minimum, people don't like whingers and at the crucial time to jump you may find people are more happy to push you. Once the general impression of fragility has been made it's time to make your move.

The Good Bye

It's generally a safe bet to make the announcement on your own blog, although it will be only your fans and friends who will read it. A better idea is to go on someone elses blog, and leave an inflamatory comment. Then when someone responds with unkind words you can pounce. Your final comment must be eloquent, well thought out and moving. Simply putting "You're all cunts... BYE!" will be most likely read as humourous. However swearing is something to consider, as foul language is well known to portray strong emotion when used sparingly.

DO NOT use quotes, song lyrics or poetry. You're leaving Second Life, not committing suicide.


Now is the time to put on your air of dignity. DO NOT RESPOND TO ANY COMMENTS AFTER YOU HAVE SIGNIFIED YOU'RE LEAVING. Head to your own blog and create a long, heart felt post citing all your reasons and saying good bye to those you cherish. Perhaps invite those close to you (publically on the blog, your fans will want to catch one last glimpse of you after all) to a small gathering where you can say goodbye properly. Perhaps earmark a few of your less favoured transferable items of inventory to pass on to friends so 'they have something to remember you buy'. Be certain to send all offline IMs to your email and hide your online status from everyone (also don't forget to leave all of your groups and check the box that hides online status in search) and then.. Log off.

The After Life

Now you have left it's time to sit back and bask in the glow of all your desolated fans. If you have to return in your week long 'away' time, make sure to open a new account or use an old unknown alt. Although you will be able to log on with your main account it's best to keep these to a minimum and DO NOT accept any items, it's a sure fire giveaway you still exist.

Once your week is over you may return stating you missed everyone so much and people will be so happy to see your return that they will be completely unaware of your subterfuge.

Congratulations, your mission has been a success.

7 comments:

Dahlia Eilde (Bonnie) said...

I know a few people have attended the Kitty Lalonde school for "leaving" SL - SO textbook!
This post was hilarious. Simply brill Kitty :)

p.s. You're all cunts!
p.p.s. I'm not going anywhere.

Willis said...

HAHA

"you're all cunts!"

Is EXACTLY how i've always planned to leave SL!!! Although probably with a few ppl actually named and shamed for being cunts because they deserve it.

Good job i've never left, if you just plan a hiatus, it's much easier!

Iustinian said...

yay, awesome, I guess I am in the blog phase ...

Dove Swanson said...

lol.

Hey...I made it 10 days. :p

Carissa Crimson said...

*cries*

You mean I did it ALL WRONG??

hmmph! perhaps I should have been a bit more attention whore-ish?

Joonie Jatho said...

LMAOOOO!! Too funny. Wish I had read it before my 4 day 3 hr 19 min leave a few months back. ;-)

But, hey, I'm sure there will be another one! :P

Pretty Pixels said...

wow..so sad that i know someone who followed this advice to the letter. lol you're too funny!

"you're all cunts...BYE!"
this just might have to be my new catch phrase.