It's amazing how these things get started. Actually no, it's a MIRACLE how these things get started but nevermind. This post however has a tale behind it. The rather wonderful (if slightly evil with long held grudges about cats and stuff) Willow Caldera asked me this on twitter today "Should I go for vixen diva or trailer trash ho? Which is more fitting?" and so in my time honoured tradition of taking the piss out of those I love and making them hate me its....
Are you foxier than a bagful of vixens or skankier than a used condom floating in a public urinal?
Are you a tantalising temptress or just turning tricks?
Or perhaps you're just boring? Who knows? Take this quizzy quiz (fiendishly designed by Tie) and find out.
You're all out of snacks again and need to run to the shops, do you...
a) Get driven by Benson the chauffeur
b) Walk, it's healthy
c) Wait for the number 29 bus with the winos
When you come home from a hard day at work do you...
a) Sling off your shoes and sink into your luxurious white leather sofa
b) Tidy your house
c) Go hunting varmints with Bobby Joe
At school were you...
a) Interested in art
b) More inclined towards maths and languages
c) Likely to be found on your knees in the boys toilet
Do you prefer...
a) Persian cats, they're so soft and fluffy
b) Fish, they have so much personality
c) Armadillos, they'm good eatin'
At a bar with your friends, you purchase...
a) A vodka martini with a small dish of pickled quail's eggs
b) Half a pint of shandy with ice and lemon
c) Nothing, your drinks are free as you're sleeping with the barman
Taking a well earned break, your dream holiday destination is...
a) San Tropez, all your friends are there for the season
b) In the Cotswolds with your grandparents
A visit to the dentists is necessary, you get...
a) Teeth straightening AND whitening, for that hollywood smile
b) A filling
c) Your toothpick back
While bored at work you mostly use the net to browse...
a) The Vogue website
b) The British Parliament website
It's your uncle Berty's birthday, do you give him...
a) A case of Cristal and a diamond studded poodle
b) A card and some nose hair clippers
c) Your knickers and a discount coupon for an evening of your time
I'd just like to take a moment to thank you on behalf of the Mean Girls for bestowing your radiant presence on our blog. It is, indeed, an honour Your Majesty.
You really enjoyed this quiz didn't you? The naughty little words gave you a small thrill in your normally boring and unimaginative life. Pfft.
Welcome to our world, you are the trashiest of all the ho's on the park. You know it's a good day when you wake up with a condom on your face cos at least you remembered to use one. So pull up a pile of bricks and sup your moonshine, you're one of us.
Kitty 'Ten dollar ho with a two dollar haircut' Lalonde
Tiernan 'Gee mister, my daddy's is bigger'n that' Serpentine